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Beautiful Disaster 5/

Title: Beautiful Disaster
Pairing: Lea/Dianna
Rating: T
Disclaimer: It's all fiction, unfortunately Dianna and Lea are not mine and I cannot simply move them like puppets and make this actually happen.

A/N - OK so I had to post this next update pretty quickly because all my assignments are due in the next week and I keep getting really distracted and not writing them so need to get this out of my hair before I focus on them. I'm not sure whether this is the final update or not, it feels pretty final but once my assignments are out of the way I might see if I feel there's more to come. Even if there's not an update after this it all gets wrapped up pretty well in this update so... If you want to see more from this after the end of this update then let me know but if you think that this is pretty much wrapped up then also let me know. :D 

I'm sorry for the quite frankly shocking length! It's 8,711 which a bit disgusting for me and just shows I have FAR too much time on my hands.  :D

Anyway, enough rambling, here goes.


~ ~  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  ~ ~ ~ 

Across the country in LA, Dianna was sat in the booth of a dingy bar surrounded by empty shot glasses, facing a very unimpressed looking Naya. The Latina watched the girl, who had been furiously texting for the past 5 minutes, as she stared at her phone before frowning and returning it to her pocket.

“It’s 8pm, don’t you think this is a bit excessive?” The Latina said as she gestured towards the empty shot glasses now that Diana was paying attention to her again. It was their first day off and she had been called 2 hours ago by a desperate sounding Dianna who insisted they go to a bar and drink because she needed a drink. The bar was empty and Naya was anxiously awaiting the arrival of Mark who she had texted an hour ago saying she had a situation and needed help. The blonde narrowed her eyes at her friend.

“Excessive is a state of mind.” Dianna waved off the brunette’s comments and slipped out of the booth and returned minutes later with a tray laden with shots and a pitcher of beer. She passed Naya a couple of the shots but kept the rest, and the pitcher, to herself. Before the Latina could stop her she had downed yet another two shots, adding to her total of five.

“Are you going to tell me why we’re at a bar at 8 o’clock and you’re drinking like the government is going to reintroduce prohibition tomorrow?”

Dianna downed another shot and poured some of the beer into her glass, taking a long drag. “I just need it to stop.” She mumbled, her fingers tracing patterns in the condensation on the side of her glass. Naya raised her eyebrows and wondered what must have happened to the blonde to cause this type of reaction. Before she could ask what needed to stop she was aware of Mark slipping into the booth beside her, eyeing up Dianna as she nursed her beer.

“What’s up with her?” He whispered to Naya who could offer no other answer than a shrug.

“If you’re going to sit here, you have to drink.” Dianna said firmly as her eyes swept up from the beer to take in the new arrival. Mark did not hesitate and reached forward, grabbing one of the full shot glasses from the tray and downing it before grabbing two more and finishing them off in quick succession. Dianna looked pleased at his actions and grinned at him before reaching over to shake his hand. “Finally! Someone who can drink.”

“Hey. I’m here aren’t I?” Naya protested and Dianna shrugged, putting her beer to her mouth and downing the rest of it. As she put her glass back on the table they all eyed the empty glasses, unsure of what to do next.

“If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do this properly.” Mark spoke up finally, standing up and heading over to the bar. Both Naya and Dianna watched him, craning their necks to see what he was doing. He returned triumphantly with two more pitchers and an entire bottle of Patron. Dianna clapped her hands together happily at the sight whilst Naya groaned; she had hoped that Mark would be moral support for her and help her keep Dianna relatively sober but instead he was clearly planning on joining the blonde in her destructive drinking.

An hour later and all three of them were extremely drunk. Naya had decided that she didn’t want to be the only one not drunk that evening and definitely didn’t want to be the one looking after the other two so she had grabbed the bottle of the table, poured an entire glass and downed the whole thing.

“So, what’s up blondie?” Mark asked gently. They had avoided the obvious issue for the past hour and simply let Dianna talk about whatever she wanted but now he was hoping that he would be able to coax an answer out of the inebriated blonde in front of him.

“I can’t get it out of my mind. All of it. Everything single bit. It’s not ok but I can’t stop. And I officially shouldn’t be allowed my phone when I drink……..It’s wearing me down, I think I’m done fighting now. …. Wait…. No I’m not. I can’t not fight it because if I don’t fight it then it all goes to shit doesn’t it?” Mark and Naya exchanged confused and worried glances as Dianna spoke. “Eurgh….I mean… ‘I miss you too’ …..who does that? Why would someone do that? I feel like I’m going crazy. It doesn’t make sense right?”

The two people sitting opposite her weren’t sure whether they were meant to respond to the question.

“I let it happen. I did. I’m so stupid. But it’s been made pretty clear it was a mistake so I have to forget it.” Dianna fell into silence and Naya was about to open her mouth to speak when the blonde sucked in a deep breath and began talking again. “New York is dumb and you know what? I think that anyone who wants to go there is dumb as well. Stupid New York. Anyone know what time it is there? Whatever…hey I’m gonna make a call.”

Before either of them could stop her, Dianna had slipped out of the booth and made her way to the exit, pressing buttons on her phone and muttering to herself.

“What was that about?” Mark asked, shaking his head at the blonde’s drunken ramblings.

“Literally, no idea!” Naya replied. She genuinely had no idea what Dianna had been talking about but it was clearly affecting her quite a bit. “I’m going to check she’s not drunk dialling someone she shouldn’t.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lea hadn’t replied to Dianna’s last text, the only thing she wanted to say was guaranteed to scare the blonde away so she just left it. Instead she had fallen back on her bed and was now lying awake in the hotel, staring up at the ceiling and wondering what she was going to do. Her phone began buzzing next to her and as she wanted to ignore it but curiosity got the better of her. Her heart jumped into her throat as she saw that it was Dianna calling her. Checking her watch she saw that it would be 9:30pm in Los Angeles right now.

“Hello?”

Hiiiiiiiiiii” Dianna’s voice was abnormally high and Lea could tell she was wasted.

“Are you drunk?”

“There’s an extremely high possibility that shots have made their way into my system somehow but I tell you what, I have absolutely no idea how. I think it might be the beginning of an elaborate government conspiracy.” Lea chuckled as she heard the blonde’s drunken ramblings.

“I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your text.” There was silence on the other end of the line for long enough for Lea to begin to feel uncomfortable. “Dianna? Still there?”

“Oooops sorry. I got distracted……there’s a guy here with awesome tattoos. There’s a naked girl on his arm!” Lea raised her eyebrows at this. “Hey tattoo man! Hey! I like your tattoos. I like that one. Oh and that one. WOW that’s pretty graphic. Lea you should see this, here look…….” Lea heard what she could only assume was Dianna pressing the phone again the man’s tattoo. She heard the man saying something to Dianna but it was muffled and she couldn’t make out a word of what he said. “Alright bye new friend! Aww he was so nice. You would have liked him.”

“Di? Are you at a bar alone?” Lea was getting a bit worried now.

“I’m with Naya and Mark. And I totally think they’re hooking up because I didn’t invite him but here he is. Sneaky Naya……and its weird because I totally thought she was into girls. Do you think she's into girls? I thought she'd hooked up with ....what's her name? HEATHER!……..Maybe more people should hook up. I really think that the world would be happier if everyone just got together, one happy family……….. And if people told the truth…. I want to tell the truth.” Lea wasn’t sure whether to speak or let Dianna continue with this particular train of thought. “I’ll tell you the truth……but don’t freak out OK?” Lea’s heart sped up; she let herself hope that Dianna might be finally going to tell her what she’d wanted to hear ever since she’d first met her. “OK so you know how……NAYA!!!!!!”

“Shit! No. Di?” Lea desperately needed to hear what Dianna had been about to say. She could hear Naya’s voice on the other line but their conversation was hushed.

“Naya’s here but she looks prettttyyyy angry at me. I think I should go. Toodles.” And with that Dianna was gone and Lea was left staring at her phone in disbelief. What had just happened? Had Dianna been about to confess that she shared Lea’s feelings or was this once again another situation where Lea had projected her own views onto something and taken it completely out of context?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The rest of the week went without incident, she didn’t hear from Dianna again which both worried her but also gave her peace of mind. She had decided that if the blonde didn’t contact her she wouldn’t push it which meant no texting or calling Dianna the entire week. Lea now felt strong enough to actually begin moving past whatever it was that drew her to the blonde. She had managed to have an entirely Dianna-free week, she made sure not to talk about her to anyone and especially avoided talking about what had been going on because Lea had it in her head that if she told anyone, then it would become real but as long as it was her secret then she stood a chance of just forgetting about it all.

On her last night in New York all her careful progress was undone in one phone call. The phone call came at 9pm just as her main course was delivered to her table at the restaurant she had taken Jonathon to that night. At first she ignored the call, it was Naya calling and she was sure the other girl wouldn’t mind if she simply called her back later but after the third time the Latina rang her in the space of a minute she decided that it was probably important. She excused herself from the table and slipped out of the restaurant door into the crisp New York evening.

“Hello?”

“Hey, I’m sorry to ring you on your last night but I figured you needed a warning.” Lea was instantly worried by Naya’s words and her tone of voice; for someone who had just had a week off from work she sounded stressed out of her mind and incredibly tired.

“Everything OK?” She was silently hoping that it would turn out to be something trivial like an earlier call time on Monday but she knew that it wouldn’t be that simple; nothing ever was in her life these days.

“It’s about Dianna.” Lea’s breath caught in her throat at the mention of the blonde’s name. She had done so well without hearing her name for the week or thinking about her. Now she wasn’t sure her resolve was strong enough to withstand being around her again if just the mention of her name elicited this reaction.

“Is she OK?” Naya was clearly stalling by only offering bits of information at a time which made Lea uneasy. The only other times people ever delayed during conversations was when they had bad news and wanted to keep the other person’s world intact and happy just that little bit longer.

“I wasn’t sure whether or not to tell you this but you live with her so you deserve to know.”

Yep, Naya was definitely stalling. Clearly she was worried about whatever she wanted to say.

“You’re going to need to be a bit clearer with what you’re talking about.” She heard Naya suck in a deep breath on the other end of the line.

“Ok. Well this past week has been a bit crazy. Dianna has been on some sort of binge, she’s been drunk every night but won’t tell any of us why she’s so upset. Most nights she just mumbles on about it all being too much and how she can’t do it and no one has had any clue what she’s been talking about but I think I’ve worked it out.”

Lea waited with baited breath to see what Naya was going to say next.

“So the first night she got drunk she called you right? And you’re in New York?” Lea nodded her answers, forgetting that Naya couldn’t see her. “She was talking about New York being stupid and people going to New York being stupid and then when she started drinking every night and occasionally talking about missing someone it all kind of clicked. She’s drinking because you’re not there.”

With those words Lea’s walls that she had been painstakingly building that entire week crumbled into nothingness.

“What are you trying to say?” She knew what she wanted and hoped Naya to be saying but she needed it to be explicitly stated before she would allow herself to believe it.

“Look I don’t know what’s going on with you guys but from her drunken ramblings I think there’s more to it than just friendship for her. On the rare occasions she’s been sober this week she hasn’t mentioned anything about it all so I guess maybe she’s like denying it or something. I don’t know. I just thought you should know before you went home.”

Lea desperately wanted to tell Naya that it was more than just friendship for her too but her mouth refused to form any words. The world seemed to be closing in on her as she staggered back into the wall behind her, needing something to support her. Lea knew she’d wanted this moment for weeks, ever since the kiss, but something about it felt wrong; it didn’t feel like victory. There was no guarantee that Naya was right with her assumptions and the fact that Dianna would only talk about it when she was drunk (the fact that she even felt the need to drink in the first place) felt like more of a blow to Lea. It wasn’t exactly the moment she’d been waiting for.

“Hey! HEY!” Lea was snapped out of her thoughts by the sound of Naya’s voice shouting through the phone at her.

“Uh. Yeah. Sorry.”

“Look I’ve got to go but are you OK?”

Lea had no idea if she was OK. “Yeah I’m fine. I’ll see you on Monday.” She pressed END before Naya could question her any further and quickly returned to her table and the concerned face of Jonathon.

“Everything OK?” She knew he was concerned and she knew that she should be happy that she had so many people who cared about her but in that moment she just wanted him to be gone, she wanted to be in a dark and quiet room with no one asking her if she was OK. Lea was pretty sure that meant she wasn’t OK.

“I’m fine.” She replied through gritted teeth, hoping he wouldn’t push the subject any further.

“You sure? You seem a little upset.” Part of Lea’s mind was screaming at her to let him in and tell him everything.

“I said I’m fine. Can we drop it now?” Jonathon looked visibly taken aback by her words and leaned back in his chair, dropping his eyes to his food as he pushed it around his plate with his fork. Lea instantly felt bad for snapping at him. “I’m sorry. I’m just….there’s a complicated situation right now and I’d rather deal with it myself before I start telling other people about it. As soon as I know what the hell is going on myself, you’ll be the first person I call.”

The boy’s mood brightened a bit as he looked up at her with a smile on his face. “OK. I’m sorry I pushed it.”

Jonathon did everything he could for the rest of the meal to take Lea’s mind of whatever it was that had upset her and it worked like a charm until she got back to her hotel later that evening. With nothing to distract her, Lea found her thoughts inevitably going back to Naya’s phone call. Part of her wanted to get back to LA that second and talk to Dianna but another part of her wanted to delay for as long as possible. She was terrified about what would happen when she got home and yet at the same time she also couldn’t deny that she was excited to see what would happen. Her emotions were conflicting so much that she didn’t even realise it had exhausted her until she woke up at 4am still fully clothed, her head resting on the desk in the hotel room and her open laptop in front of her. Groaning and with stiff muscles from sleeping in an awkward position, she closed her laptop and crawled into bed, painfully aware that her flight left at 8 o’clock in the morning.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lea had spent the entire journey back to LA flitting between dread, excitement and nervous anticipation and as the cab pulled up to her house her stomach started doing somersaults. She paid the driver and made her way up to the house, pulling her bag behind her. Taking a deep breath she turned her keys in the lock and pushed the door open.

It was a bit of an anticlimax to find the house empty. There were no signs of Dianna’s week long binge, in fact the house was spotless and Lea briefly wondered whether she’d made up the phone call from Naya. She wandered around the house aimlessly for a while, waiting anxiously for the blonde to come home but when it became apparent she wasn't going to be home anytime soon she busied herself by unpacking.

Dianna eventually came home whilst Lea was busy cooking. The blonde stumbled through the front door, dropping her bag as she closed it behind her and giggling at something that Lea was oblivious to. The smaller girl found herself completely frozen to the spot; she didn’t know whether to make her presence known or to wait until Dianna noticed her. Ultimately her inability to function made the decision for her.

Dianna turned around slowly, peering at the screen of her phone before glancing up and doing a double take as she noticed Lea standing in the kitchen staring at her. The blonde was noticeably shaken for a moment before her face erupted into a wide grin and she flew into the kitchen, throwing herself into Lea’s arms.

“You’re hoooooooome.” As Dianna wrapped her arms around the smaller girl’s neck and drew her closer, Lea could smell the alcohol on her breath and felt the blonde’s fingers drawing light patterns on the bare skin of her neck. "I missed you pipsqueak." As the taller girl pulled back slightly Lea knew what was coming. "You're so cute." Dianna’s lips brushed along Lea’s cheek and she felt her eyes flutter closed, she could feel the blonde’s hot breath as their lips moved together.

“Wait.” It took all of Lea’s will power to push the taller girl away from her and she felt her heart twinge with pain as she took in the look of rejection and misery on Dianna’s face.

“Did I do something wrong?” The blonde’s small voice was enough to break Lea’s heart and she pulled the girl back into her in a tight hug.

“No, not at all but you’re drunk.”

“Because of you.” Dianna was clutching the brunette desperately as she spoke but again she pulled back to look at Lea. “I can’t stand it.” Her eyes flicked down to Lea’s lips and the smaller girl was aware of Dianna moving closer to her again.

“I don’t want this if you’re only doing it because you’re drunk. If this is going to happen I want you to be sober.” Lea was surprised she was actually managing to think straight with the blonde so close to her; she knew she was doing the sensible thing but when Dianna took a step away from her, a pained expression on her face, Lea wanted nothing more than to kiss it away and pull the taller girl back into her again; she was painfully aware of the space between them now.

“I can’t do that.” Dianna was no longer looking at Lea but her eyes were instead focused on a particular spot on the tiled floor of the kitchen and the smaller girl was silently wondering why the hell she’d not just let Dianna kiss her.

“Why?”

“I just…..I can’t.”

“Dianna, why….” Her words were cut short by Dianna’s lips pressing into hers. It should have been rough, the blonde had practically attacked her, but it was surprisingly soft and gentle and Lea couldn’t fight it anymore so she gave in. Her hands unconsciously travelled to the taller girl’s neck as Dianna’s own hands slipped under Lea’s top, her fingertips ghosting across the small of her back. Lea’s hand fisted blonde locks, tangling her fingers in the girl’s hair and pulling her closer, needing to close any remaining space between their bodies.

Dianna’s tongue drifted along Lea’s bottom lip before slipping into her mouth, meeting her tongue in what could have been a carefully rehearsed dance. The smaller girl was only slightly aware of the feeling of the kitchen counter digging into her as Dianna pushed them backwards, both of them needing support as their legs began to buckle with each new sensation.

Lea found herself dreading the moment they would have to break apart for air and attacked Dianna’s lips with a renewed purpose, her hands leaving the taller girls hair and travelling slowly down her back, feeling every inch of Dianna that she could, eventually resting her hands on the blonde’s ass and gently squeezing causing a moan to claw its way out from deep inside the taller girl. Lea was lightheaded and only just had the presence of mind to register Dianna’s own hands on her ass as the taller girl lifted her gingerly onto the kitchen counter, positioning herself between Lea’s legs and running her hands up and down her thighs.

Lea’s senses were going into overdrive as Dianna pushed herself further into the smaller girl. The smell of the blonde was driving her crazy and she felt like she couldn’t get enough but the smell started to take on the scent of burning.

That’s weird. Lea thought as she refocused her hands in Dianna’s hair again. It took her a second too long to realise that the smell of burning was actually the food she had been cooking before she had been distracted. Lea pulled her head back quickly, and was nearly sucked back into Dianna as she watched the taller girl follow, trying to reconnect with her.

“The food’s burning.” Lea said desperately, still trapped on the counter by Dianna’s hands on either side of her. It seemed to take an age for the words to hit the blonde and she stepped back quickly as she finally processed the words, glancing at the rising smoke from the food but not making any attempt to stop it. Lea pushed herself off the counter, her ankles jarring painfully as she hit the solid flood, and she grabbed the pan off the heat quickly before throwing the black mess into the sink where it hissed violently.

As the adrenaline wore off Lea couldn’t help laughing and turned to meet the blonde to share in the moment but when she turned around Dianna had disappeared and she heard the faint sound of a bedroom door closing.

Lea didn’t move for a moment as she tried to make sense of the last twenty minutes, none of which made any sense. Her previous happiness subsided quickly to be replaced by almost utter despair; she was in too deep now and she knew there was no way she could get out alive. Any possibility that she could have moved on from her feelings for the blonde had been erased as soon as Dianna kissed her and now the blonde had run away yet again. It was becoming a bit of a theme. Lea knew that Dianna was terrified about the whole thing but she wasn’t exactly taking it in her stride herself, she’d never been attracted to women before and the idea of now being so totally invested in Dianna scared her more than she would ever admit but at the same time she knew what she wanted and she would be damned if she was going to let the rest of the world determine whether or not she would get it. So with that she stormed up the stairs after Dianna.

When she twisted the door handle of the blonde’s bedroom she found it locked. Knocking gently she waited for a response.

“Go away.” Dianna’s voice sounded surprisingly close to the door and Lea could picture her, leaning against the door where she had sunk to the floor as she fled from her actions and her feelings.

“We need to talk about this Di, I’m not going until we do.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Are you kidding me? There’s everything to talk about. We kissed, Dianna and it wasn’t the first time.” Her words were met with silence and she rested her forehead on the closed door, pressing her palms into the surface. “Naya told me about this past week, about you drinking. You said yourself you’re drinking because of me so you really want to stick by the whole idea of ‘there’s nothing to talk about’?

“Please just go, Lea. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.” Lea could hear the faint sobs as Dianna spoke and she slid down the door, coming to a rest on the floor and drawing her knees up to her chest as she leaned against the barrier keeping her and Dianna apart.

“Why does it have to be so hard? Why can’t it be simple?” Lea didn’t know where the clarity of her feelings had come from or her confidence in the situation but she knew one of them had to be the one to push this otherwise they’d both just let it linger.

“How could it ever be simple Lea? This isn’t…… this isn’t who I am. I can’t be this person.” Dianna had spoken the words that Lea had been hoping not to hear, her complete denial of who she was and what she felt. She knew that Dianna felt the same way about her and she’d always believed that the blonde was the only person she knew was completely comfortable in their own skin. Dianna was a self confessed nerd and she didn’t care if people thought she was weird for her love of Star Wars and whilst Lea wasn’t equating her sexuality to an appreciation of Star Wars she wondered why the blonde was so uncomfortable with this single aspect of herself when she embraced everything else about her that made her stand out from the crowd.

“I thought you were one of those people who believed in falling in love with the person, not the gender.” Lea knew that this was Dianna’s view on the situation after they’d spent a particularly long break discussing sexuality with Chris in the early days of filming the pilot. Her words were yet again met with silence but from her new position next to the door she could hear the staggered breathing of the blonde as she tried to control her tears. “Right…..so it’s OK to say it but you don’t actually mean it.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Really? So what do you mean? Enlighten me.” Lea felt her frustration with the situation quickly turn into anger, anger that the blonde, who drank herself into oblivion whilst Lea was away, was willing to push her away. Dianna was silent again and Lea felt herself soften, she knew she shouldn’t be angry, she should be understanding; they needed to help each other through this. “Dianna. Why can’t we just talk about this properly? It’s not like we’re signing a contract in stone just by talking about it.”

“You want something I can’t give you.” There it was again, a confession of her feelings coupled with the fear of actually doing something about it, of making it real.

“I want you.” Lea was aware that she was pleading with the blonde now.

“You want to be able to hold hands in public, go on dates, tell all your friends and family. I can’t give you that.”

Why can’t you? Why is it so difficult?” Lea felt like punching the door, or kicking it down; she needed to vent her frustrations in some sort of violent outburst.

They were silent for a painfully long time and Lea wondered whether Dianna had actually just passed out; she was drunk after all, maybe she should be more lenient on the blonde but if she was this scared whilst she drunk and her inhibitions were basically absent then she’d be a nightmare when she was sober.

“Can’t we just continue the way we have been?” Lea nearly missed the words but she caught the pain behind them, a pain she shared. She knew she should be willingly agreeing, wanting Dianna in her life in any way, even if it wasn’t the way she wanted but the past few weeks had been complete torture for her and clearly they had been for Dianna as well and she wasn’t sure if she could go back to that.

“The way we’ve been living the past few weeks has been destroying us both.” Lea knew that Dianna was nodding along in acceptance. “Di, please let me in. Please.”

“If I let you in, I won’t be able to help myself.” Lea let a small smile appear on her face at Dianna’s words and her skin ignited with the memories of their stolen touches earlier. “I think I should move out.”

Lea lifted her head quickly and smacked the door with her palm before she could control herself. “NO! Dianna we can figure this out just don’t shut me out. I need you. I can live without having all those things you said I want, but I can’t live without you.” The tears were flowing freely down her face now, she hadn’t realised just how strong her feelings were until now.

“I hate what you’ve done to me. I feel like I can’t breathe anymore when you’re around.”

Dianna wasn’t sure when she had realised that Lea felt the same way as her; a part of her had always known but she’d pushed it down and denied its importance and instead convinced herself that Lea absolutely did not feel the same way, which had made it a lot easier for her to deny her own feelings. Now it was all out in the open and there was no going back, the effects of the evening were irreversible and Dianna had no idea what she was going to do now, she wasn’t sure she was brave enough to let Lea in completely, to love her, and she knew she wasn’t selfish enough to deny the smaller girl the simple right to be open about them.

Pushing herself to her feet she twisted the lock on the door and slowly pulled it open to find Lea huddled against the door. The smaller girl looked up in surprise when she felt the support of the door give way and she scrambled to her feet, wiping away her tears and reaching for the blonde, desperate not to let Dianna shut her out again.

The blonde let Lea pull her into a tight hug, she let her eyes close when Lea began to stroke her hair and whisper in her ear that everything would be alright but she knew it wouldn’t, nothing would ever be alright anymore.

Lea felt relief washing over her body as she held Dianna close to her, she’d almost lost her and the pain had been unbearable.

“I’ll be gone in the morning.” Dianna whispered into Lea’s ear as fresh tears began to fall from her eyes. You’re doing the right thing. She kept repeating the words over and over in her head, hoping that eventually she’d believe them enough to let go of Lea and walk away, giving them both the opportunity to sort themselves out from this mess.

Lea pushed Dianna away when she heard the words and the blonde felt herself wondering how she would cope without Lea if the loss of contact from the hug in that moment was enough to kill her. “W….what?” Lea’s voice was raspy and pained and Dianna had to look away as she saw the tears welling again in the smaller girl’s eyes, threatening to fall.

Dianna made her way over to the bed, sitting down on the side and dropping her head into her hands, leaving Lea standing hopelessly in the middle of her bedroom, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. “I’ll stay with Naya tonight and I’ll come back for my stuff tomorrow. If you want me to wait until you’re not in……”

“You’re moving out?” Lea’s voice was barely above a whisper and when Dianna chanced a look up at her she was surprised not to find the tears she’d seen earlier but anger. “You’re running away before we’ve even had a chance to talk about this.” Lea made sure to keep her voice even, trying to suppress her rising anger.

“Lea I told you, I can’t……”

“SHUT UP! You’re saying all these things about me wanting what you can’t give me but I’ve not even told you what I want! You’re putting words in my mouth to justify your own cowardice. You’re ridiculous Dianna, you’re 22, above the legal age for everything in this country but you’re acting like a scared little child.”

“Lea….”

“No, hear me out because I’m going to ask you this once and then I’m going to let you go and I won’t ask for anything ever again; is this honestly what you want? I will let this go if you can look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t want this.”

“Lea….I want this, god I want it so much but I can’t.” Dianna’s voice was breaking with emotion but Lea ignored it, furious that she wasn’t even being given a chance. Dianna had simply assumed that they would instantly go to being some sort of new gay power couple in Hollywood, telling the world of their new found gayness and constantly holding their gay banner; she hadn’t bothered to ask Lea what she thought of the whole situation. If Dianna had just talked about it with her she would have realised that Lea was nowhere near ready to proclaim her feelings to the world but that didn’t mean she wasn’t more than ready to try to work at whatever was between them. She’d never felt this strongly about anyone before and she could confidently say, after many previous discussions about past boyfriends, that Dianna hadn’t either.

“Yeah so I’ve heard.” Lea turned to leave, turning her back on the sobs coming from the blonde. “This is going to destroy us more than if we’d just given it a go.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

True to her word, Lea heard Dianna collect together a few things and slip out of the front door. She lay on her bed in stunned silence, staring the ceiling, unable to even cry as she desperately tried to work out how earth she had gotten to this place. Her hand unconsciously reached for her phone repeatedly; she was desperate to talk to someone, anyone, but despite everything that Dianna had said and done that evening she didn’t want to betray her trust.

Yesterday it had been a one sided crush (alright, a bit more than a crush) and in the space of 24 hours everything had changed so dramatically she hadn’t even had time to process the fact that Dianna had kissed her, she had made the first move. The blonde had also, in as few words as possible, confessed her feelings for Lea. It was more than she could have hoped for but it was tarnished by the fact that Dianna wasn’t willing to act on it.

She wasn’t sure what to do now; she desperately wanted to fight for the blonde, to prove to her that it didn’t have to be the end of the world if they got together. Something in the back of her head was telling her that maybe Dianna was right, it was also determinedly telling her that if she pursued this it would change their friendship forever. Pushing the unwanted thought away she reminded herself that their friendship had already changed forever, there was no way they could go back to how they had been before, the only way was forward. Lea was aware that if they didn’t move forward they probably wouldn’t be able to claw back any remnants of a friendship, not with so much that had happened between them and gone unsaid.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dianna wasn’t sure when she had sobered up but her head was killing her and the combination of the alcohol and the stress of the situation with Lea was playing havoc on her body.

“Here you go.” Naya handed Dianna a steaming cup of tea and dropped onto the couch beside her. The blonde had showed up at her door fifteen minutes ago with an overnight bag and pleaded with the Latina for a place to stay that night. “Do you want to talk about it?” Naya had a pretty good idea of why Dianna was suddenly in her flat, her face stained with tears and her body still shuddering periodically with low sobs.

“I don’t know what to do.”

Naya realised that Dianna was unlikely to open up without being prompted and she thought that maybe if she mentioned that she knew about her feelings for Lea then she would be more willing to talk about it as she wouldn’t have to be the one to say it out loud first. “Is it about Lea? I know this isn’t my place but after hanging out with you this past week I’ve noticed some things.” She waited for Dianna to stop her and tell her it was none of her business but the words never came so Naya pressed on. “I know you like Lea, more than just friends….to be honest after what you’ve said this week I’d say you actually love her.” She looked over to the blonde who was sniffing back her tears and nodding her head along to Naya’s words. Her eyes widened, she had been positive there was something going on but seeing Dianna confirmed that she loved Lea was still surprising. “I guess…..she didn’t take it too well?”

Dianna’s head, which had been dipped as she stared into her tea, shot up and she met Naya’s eyes, shaking her head desperately. “No. She didn’t……she…that’s not the problem….god I don’t know what to do.”

Naya shifted closer to her and wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. “What happened? You know you can trust me.” She felt Dianna lean into her embrace and sigh deeply, letting out all of her emotions that she’d been holding in.

“She…she kissed me the night we got picked up.” Naya tried to hide her surprise; she really hadn’t seen that one coming. “And tonight….I just missed her so much and I kissed her and we……I ran away. I don’t know if I’m ready to be….you know…..gay.” Dianna whispered the last word, it was the first time she had verbalised it and instead of feeling even more scared than before she actually felt a weight shift off her shoulders; the world hadn’t ended.

“So….I’m sorry I’m not sure I understand it all. Lea feels the same way you do?”

“I think so…..I don’t know….. yes she does but I didn’t stick around long enough for us to talk about it. I just got so scared. It’s useless now anyway, I’ve fucked everything up. She’ll never talk to me again. I just shut her down…..god…she looked so upset.” At this, Dianna broke down, sobs wracking her body and Naya pulled her into a hug, hating to see the blonde so broken but knowing that she needed to keep her talking rather than letting her slip back into her shell.

“What are you so afraid of?” She tried to make the words gentle, to keep any form of judgement out of them.

“I don’t know. Everything. The thing is I know that my family would be fine, my friends would be fine…..I think…..I think it’s just me that isn’t fine.”

“So what you’re worried about what other people will say? People that don’t even know you?” Naya pressed further and Dianna nodded her head in response. “OK well I hate to break this to you but when Glee comes out and you become famous people are going to talk about you anyway, and no it won’t always be nice but it doesn’t matter because they don’t know you. You’ll have your family and your friends, the people that really matter, and if you’re lucky you’ll have someone to ride the storm with.”

Dianna let the words sink in. She realised she was being completely irrational, in her line of work people were always going to find something to use against her, they were always going to talk about her and she’d always known that not everyone would like her. Why should she change who she was and who she loved just so they wouldn’t have one more thing to use against her? Who’s to say that they would even view it as a negative thing?

“What about my career?” She asked Naya. She’d heard the stories of people in Hollywood who had to keep themselves in the closet to keep their careers in tact and some of these people were established and well known actors; she was just starting out, this could put a stop to any future she had.

“Yeah it’s a consideration but what about all the open secrets in Hollywood these days? I mean if we know about half the gay actors in Hollywood then it can’t be much of a secret. And what about people like Ellen? Portia? Cynthia Nixon? They’re careers are still going strong and they’re all openly gay.”

“Do you think I can do it?” Dianna pulled out of the hug and looked at Naya, this was what she had been needing, someone completely independent of the situation to make her realise that she was being an idiot.

“You can do anything you want.” Naya responded genuinely, smiling warmly at the blonde. She felt oddly honoured that she had been chosen, inadvertently or not, to have this conversation with the blonde. “Go and talk to her.”

“I didn’t even finish my tea.” Dianna pouted as she stared into her cup again before Naya quickly grabbed it off her.

“Make another one when you get home. Now scoot.”

As Dianna left Naya’s apartment with a ‘good luck’ and a cheery wave she felt her confidence begin to dwindle. It had been so easy to talk about it with Naya, whilst it had just been words and not actions but now she had to actually follow through and she had to do it quickly before her resolve melted away completely.

Naya thankfully lived only a 10 minute walk away from their house, a walk which Dianna spent trying to formulate something to say to Lea, something to make up for everything she’d said earlier, all the heartbreak she’d caused.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lea thought she was making up the noise of gentle knocking on her door as she lay curled up in the foetal position on her bed, her tears long since dry and an empty feeling having replaced her sadness. Her mind was clearly playing cruel tricks on her when she heard her name being called gently from the doorway, the voice was Dianna’s but Lea knew better than to let her imagination take over; Dianna had left, she wouldn’t be coming back, she’d made that pretty clear.

It wasn’t until the bed dipped behind her, something that Lea was sure her imagination couldn’t conjure up, that she realised that it wasn’t a trick of the mind but Dianna was actually in her bedroom, hovering next to her anxiously.

“Lea? Can I talk to you?” Her words were quiet and nervous and Lea felt a hand rest on her arm and gently tug on it until she was lying on her back, staring up into hazel eyes; she wanted to melt into them, to let the real world fade away.

“Come back for the rest of your stuff already? Didn’t take you long.” She could hardly keep the spite out of her voice, spite that she knew was mostly unwarranted. The words stung Dianna but she continued, knowing she needed to get it all out now before she lost her nerve.

“Lea, I’m sorry….. about earlier. I should have talked to you about this instead of running away.”

Lea wasn’t going to let her back in that easily, she wanted Dianna to be the one to lay it all out instead of relying on her to say everything that needed to be said. “Yeah but you did run away didn’t you. And I said I’d let you go so I have done….I don’t really know what you want.”

“Jesus Lea please I’m trying here. After I left I went to Naya’s and she talked some sense into me. I know that I’m not handling this very well but can you honestly sit there and tell me that it’s all peaches and cream for you as well? I know you Lea, I know you’re trying to be strong but you’re freaking out as much as I am.”

“I didn’t run away though did I?”

“Why did you go to New York?”

“What? What does that have to do with this?”

“I know you didn’t plan it until two days before you went and I heard you calling people up and telling them you’d be in town. What made you suddenly decide to go instead of staying here?” Dianna stared at Lea, waiting for her response, watching the cogs turning in her head as she realised what the blonde was insinuating. When Dianna got no response she continued. “See, I’m not the only one who ran away Lea. You can sit there and get all high and mighty about this but the truth is you left for a whole week and you were the one who hid behind the ‘drunk’ excuse when you kissed me at the party. You’re not as brave as you like to think and at least I recognise that I’ve got some issues I need to work through.”

Lea pushed herself up into a sitting position, pushing the pillows up against her headboard and leaning back, running a hand through her hair as she thought through her reasons for escaping to New York. Dianna was right to an extent, she had run away, but not for the same reasons as the blonde. “I didn’t run away. I needed space to think through everything because up until a couple of hours ago my feelings weren’t reciprocated and I was just a stupid girl with a crush.”

“But didn’t you do the exact same thing as me? You avoided the issue, you didn’t talk to me about it first….” Dianna was desperate to get Lea to realise they were on the same level; she knew she shouldn’t be trying to make them equal when it had been her who had been running away but she didn’t want to be the only one who was scared out of their mind, she needed Lea right there with her to share in the fear and the confusion. She wasn’t sure if she could do it without her.

“Yeah it’s not exactly the easiest thing to talk to your best friend and room mate about.” Lea huffed, her eyes anywhere but Dianna’s as she fiddled with a ring on her hand.

“OK.” Dianna breathed out, running a hand along her forehead in frustration. “OK I messed up but I’m here now. I don’t want to lose you.” She took Lea’s hands, which had been twisting furiously in her lap, into hers, pulling Lea’s attention back to her.

“You said you couldn’t do this.” Lea looked resigned and pulled her hands out of Dianna’s grasp, stuffing them under her legs so the blonde wouldn’t be able to reach for them again.

“I know. And I’m still not sure I can but I want to try.” Dianna shuffled closer.

“You’re scared.” Lea’s words were quiet and her eyes dropped to the bed; Dianna felt awful for having done this to the smaller girl. She knew she was the reason that Lea had lost her spark recently and seeing the girl looking so broken in front of her just about broke her heart, she knew she would work as hard as she could to make sure this version of Lea never had to appear again.

“I’m terrified. And that’s not going to go away overnight.” Honesty’s the best policy. She thought to herself. She knew she wanted to give their relationship a go and if she was going to stand any chance of getting over her issues with it she needed to be completely honest with Lea.

“You can’t give me what I want.”

Dianna frowned. “You said you didn’t want those things.”

“You ……” The brunette tried, her eyes still trained on the bed as she squirmed uncomfortably under the blonde’s gaze. Lea wasn’t exactly why she was doing this, why she was pointing out everything that she’d argued against earlier, every reason that Dianna shouldn’t be with her. She figured she was protecting herself; if Dianna realised now that this was impossible for her then maybe she could save herself some heartbreak further down the line. Although it already hurt like hell now. She knew that she should be jumping into Dianna’s arms, she should be letting happiness overtake her and more than anything she should be grateful that Dianna was willing to work through her fears to give their relationship a shot; she knew all this but she couldn’t stop herself.

Dianna reached a hand out, cupping Lea’s cheek and gently pulling her head up to face her. “Lea please stop trying to find excuses out of this. You pushed me for this and here I am; I’m doing everything you asked. Stop pushing me away now that I’m here.”

“I’m scared.” Lea finally admitted in a whisper. Dianna had been right, the whole thing scared her more than she could have ever admitted and when it had come down to it, when Dianna had finally accepted her feelings, she’d done the same thing as the blonde and tried to run away, tried to push the situation away from her out of fear.

“Well we’ll be scared together.” Lea had no idea when the tables had turned and Dianna had become the brave one but she was overwhelmed with relief that they had and more than anything, she felt the fear wash away as she knew that she’d have someone right beside her throughout the whole thing, working through their fears together.

“I think I could be ok with that.” She smiled up into the hazel eyes that greeted hers and felt her heart skip a beat when Dianna leaned forward to capture her lips; neither girl was drunk this time and as fireworks went off in Lea’s head she realised that this was essentially her first kiss.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Beautiful Disaster 4/?

Title: Beautiful Disaster
Pairing: Lea/Dianna
Rating: T
Disclaimer: It's all fiction, unfortunately Dianna and Lea are not mine and I cannot simply move them like puppets and make this actually happen. 

A/N - First off - thank you SO SO SO much for all your reviews! They were awesome to read and after I read them all I wrote like....a LOT. So ... keep 'em coming. 

There's a section where some time passes and I haven't actually said how long it is in the story but I think it's about 3/4 weeks (it will make sense when you read it hopefully.)

Also, when we get the little insight into Dianna's head it's all from the night Lea kissed her, it's her thoughts at that moment. I felt like I had to clarify but I think it might be quite obvious. 

Not as long as the last one but the update after this will be longer again. 

I hope you enjoy this. 


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When Lea woke up she was aware of a crashing headache, the disgusting taste of vomit in the back of her mouth and the fact that her cheek was stuck to the tiles of the bathroom floor, having slipped from her perch against the toilet whilst she was asleep. Her eyes opened gradually, trying to block out some of the sunlight that was flooding in from the windows. The first she thing she noticed was a sandwich next to her face and she frowned, wondering how and why it was there. Lea was normally pretty good at making drunk snacks but she never made sandwiches again after she’d nearly cut her finger off once and hadn’t noticed the blood until she was about to put the blood soaked bread into her mouth. Cringing at the memory she instantly checked her fingers, sighing with relief when she found no blood or cuts.

As she stared at her fingers a shape behind them, out of her focus, caught her attention and she looked past her hand at the sleeping form of Dianna who was curled up in the foetal position against the wall, a towel thrown over her legs which, Lea noticed with a blush, were bare. Her hair had fallen and was covering part of her face but enough was left visible to see that the taller girl was frowning slightly in her sleep and Lea could imagine that she was concentrating hard on whatever she was dreaming about.

Why are we both in the bathroom? She groaned inwardly, wishing she could remember at least something from the night before, something that might point to why they were both lying on the floor of the bathroom with a sandwich between them.

She eased herself gingerly to a sitting position and reached out for the bottle of water, thankful for its close proximity. The smaller girl took a large gulp and swirled it around her mouth, trying to clear some of the residue of the vomit out of her mouth, and spat the dirty water into the toilet bowl. Then she turned her attention to the sandwich which mercifully was fairly plain, containing only vegan cheese and tomato, which was just what she needed. Biting into the sandwich felt like one of the single best moments of her life and she couldn’t hold back the moan as she wolfed down the food, now aware that it must have been Dianna who made it for her.

As she ate she hoped that the blonde would have more memories from the night before when she woke up, although Lea vaguely remembered matching her drink for drink so she wasn’t too hopeful. She didn’t have to wait long to find out as Dianna began to stir, something which Lea couldn’t help but think it was one of the most adorable sights in the world as the blonde bought her hands, balled into fists, up to her face and rubbed her eyes in an almost comical way, the way that people would often do in awful commercials to show that they were waking up. Lea couldn’t believe that some people actually woke up this way. Dianna then stretched her arms out above her head, keeping her eyes closed, and then groaned which Lea took to mean she had finally noticed she was on the floor of the bathroom.

The taller girl opened bleary eyes and took in her surroundings, frowning before taking in the sight of the brunette, hair everywhere and make up smeared on her face. Her face relaxed as she saw the smaller girl.

“Hi.” Lea said quietly, feeling incredible awkward now and hoping that Dianna didn’t find it weird that she hadn’t woken her up and was simply sat facing her, eating a sandwich.

“Hey.” Dianna responded, moving herself to a sitting position. “You found the sandwich then.” She motioned towards the remains of the sandwich in Lea’s hands and the smaller girl grinned.

“Thank you so much for this by the way. Honestly don’t think I could have made it downstairs to get anything for myself.” Lea popped the last bit of sandwich into her mouth as they fell into silence. “So….what the heck actually happened last night?”

Lea glanced up briefly and thought she caught a crestfallen expression on the blonde’s face but when she looked again Dianna was offering her a lopsided grin and there was no hint of the previous expression on her face so Lea decided she must have been imagining it.

“Nothing too extreme but I think we can safely say that you cannot handle your drink as well as me.”

“I’m smaller. I have an excuse.” Lea pouted, she had a need to be the best at everything she did, including drinking a lot of tequila; she would challenge Dianna to a rematch if necessary. “Anyway, how do I know that you didn’t throw up as well which is why we’re both in here?”

“Touché. You don’t know. But I didn’t so that’s an invalid argument. I’m still better than you.” Dianna laughed at the angry frown on Lea’s face and her failed attempt to reach over and hit the taller girl. “Plus, you finished a bottle of tequila when you got home last night.”

“Eurgh. Never a sensible move.” They both laughed lightly before Lea frowned and rubbed her head, trying to ease some of the pain. At this Dianna stood and reached a hand out of her.

“Let’s get you out of here and into bed, you definitely need to sleep this one off.” Lea blindly let Dianna lead her out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. The blonde guided her to the bed and once Lea had climbed under the sheets, she tucked them around her, gently stroking the smaller girl’s hair before straightening up suddenly as if she had been burned. “Sleep.”

Lea’s eyes had closed almost as soon as her head hit the pillow and she didn’t notice as Dianna quietly crept from the room and went back to the bathroom to take a shower before slipping out of the house.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lea woke hours later, feeling refreshed and ready for the day, despite the fact that it was now 2 o’clock in the afternoon. She stretched out on her bed, smiling to herself. Everything felt good in her life and now that Dianna had assured her she’d not done anything embarrassing the night before she felt invincible. She kicked the sheets off and bounced out of her bed, her hangover was almost gone although her head felt like it was about to explode when she stood up. She padded down the corridor and noticed that Dianna’s room was empty.

When she made it downstairs she was slightly shocked by the sight; it looked as though a party tornado had swirled through the kitchen depositing empty bottles and cups. She noticed that there were peanuts everywhere and frowned, that was probably one of the oddest things she’d woken up to after a party. At least, that was until she found a carefully constructed Dorito castle.

Moving into the lounge she noticed the empty bottle of tequila lying discarded on the floor next to the couch and her phone resting against a wall. Lea shook her head at the fact that she couldn’t remember why any of these things were here, she hadn’t been black out drunk in a long time; she’d started taking it easy after she had began to form a habit of calling inappropriate people whilst drunk when she lived in New York. That was when the sudden realisation hit her that whilst Dianna had said she hadn’t done anything awful, she couldn’t know whether Lea had drunk dialled or texted anyone the night before. She picked up her phone warily and scanned through her messages; thankfully it seemed that the only people she’d texted were Chris and Dianna. She opened Chris’s conversation and it was evident that she hadn’t text him but it was the other way around and he’d sent her a message asking where she was. She chuckled slightly, clearly she’d disappeared from the party without telling him last night. Lea then moved onto the texts from Dianna, frowning when she read the words on the screen; like Chris she had only received a text, not sent one and the text read – I just need some space right now. D

What the hell?

Initially Lea entertained the idea that perhaps Dianna had just text her by mistake and the message was meant for someone else but once she’d checked her calls and noticed that the text came in mere minutes after she’d dialled Dianna’s number she knew something had happened. The blonde must have lied to her when she said that Lea hadn’t done anything too extreme. What had she done to cause the blonde to need space from her? Was that why she had been drinking a bottle of tequila on her own? Dianna hadn’t mentioned sharing any of the alcohol with her.

All thoughts of cleaning vanished as she sat down slowly on the couch, racking her memory, trying to piece together the puzzle and work out what she’d done. She tried to recreate the night from what she last remembered; they’d done shots at the bar, they’d talked to Cory, they’d danced…..then what? Lea closed her eyes, trying to picture the previous night. The first thing she remembered was the way that Dianna had been dancing with her which sent butterflies soaring through her stomach.

OK so we were dancing. What did we do after that?

An image flashed into her mind, she was watching Dianna walk out of the party as quickly as her heels would allow her.

Alright, so why was she walking away?

Her eyes were still closed as she tried to picture everything she had done and it was then that the memory returned with startling clarity. She was leaning into Dianna and then she was kissing her and then Dianna was staring at her in shock before hightailing it out of the party.

Oh. Fuck.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As Lea watched the big hand of the clock tick over 12 and into another hour, she groaned, wishing that she’d decided to actually do something today, despite dealing with her hangover and cleaning (which she had finished in record time). She needed to do anything to take her mind of the memory of kissing Dianna, she needed to get out and do something rather than sitting on the couch, staring at the clock, counting every second, minute and hour that the blonde remained out of the house. There were things that she could have done technically, like shopping or finally getting round to checking in with her agent. She could even have rung several of the people she’d promised to call and had never got round to actually doing. Instead, after cleaning and showering, she had sat on the couch and worried. She wasn’t sure what to make of the situation; Dianna had clearly wanted space from her last night but this morning she was fine, acting like nothing had happened, and if Lea hadn’t remembered then they would be getting on with life as usual.

At the familiar sound of keys turning in the lock, Lea’s heart rate quickened and her palms instantly began to sweat so she wiped them carefully on her pants, trying to make herself look like she hadn’t simply been sitting in silence for the entire day, just waiting.

TV!!!!!

She dove for the remote, quickly flicking the TV on and then threw herself back into the couch, adopting a slouched position as if she had spent a lazy day watching TV and definitely not waiting for Dianna to get home. Unfortunately, as the blonde walked into the house, she noticed that the channel she had randomly selected was showing some sort of televised church service and the pastor was screaming as he ‘healed’ his congregation. She groaned inwardly. Just my luck.

Before she could change it, Dianna had swung her eyes round and focused on the lounge, frowning at Lea’s choice of TV. The blonde was aware that this was the exact same position they had been in last night and as she eyed the TV she recalled that Lea rarely watched TV aimlessly, unless they were watching movies together or Grey’s Anatomy every week, and she definitely did not watch televised church services. Something was up.

“Everything alright?” Dianna said suspiciously as she noticed the nervous expression on Lea’s face and the fact that she was wringing her hands together.

Lea stuttered her response. “Yeah….I ….I…I was just watching TV.” She attempted feebly, knowing full well that Dianna wouldn’t buy it but unable to come up with anything better. The blonde scoffed and the brunette sighed, deciding just to jump right in. “I actually wanted to talk to you about last night.” The blonde visibly blanched at the words and took a step backwards. Lea realised then that she probably should have just kept pretending she didn’t know what had happened the night before but she had begun now so she had to continue. “Look I remembered … you know… and I know you said you wanted space but it’s totally unnecessary. I appreciate that it freaked you out but we were both really really drunk and it was just a kiss, nothing more. I mean, we kiss people for our jobs! It’s not really any different to that. When I get drunk, I tend to want to kiss people and it appears you were closest. It doesn’t mean anything and it wasn’t the beginning of a stalker obsession with you and I’m not harbouring some sort of secret love for you so….. yeah I just wanted to clear the air.”

Lea watched the blonde carefully for her reaction, hoping that the girl would let out a huge sigh of relief and smile and everything would be roses and blue skies again. Instead what she was just the briefest display of hurt and rejection before Dianna recovered and did exactly what Lea had been expecting; she painted a smile on her face.

“Phew.” She joked and Lea felt a weight she didn’t realise she had been carrying lift off her shoulders. She didn’t notice that the joke did not come as easily to the taller girl as it should have done.

“Hug it out?” Lea grinned and she pushed herself off the sofa to meet the blonde. She didn’t notice the taller girl as she clearly tried to set herself into a happy mood to match the smaller girls and she didn’t notice the glistening eyes as she wrapped her arms around her friend. Even if she had noticed, it’s likely she would have just assumed the blonde was still freaked out about the kiss.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Their friendship returned to normal after that and whilst Lea was happy that she still had Dianna in her life she had to resign herself to the fact that she needed to get over whatever it was that had made her kiss the blonde in the first place. Whatever crush was going on needed to be stopped, she was pretty sure if she kissed the taller girl again it would be like signing a contract to end their friendship permanently.

If Dianna was acting differently then Lea hadn’t noticed. They still did everything they used to; went shopping together, had movie marathons when they could, cooked together and went on hikes. However, when production began Lea was so wrapped up in dance rehearsals and shooting that she didn’t notice that Dianna was gradually spending less and less time in the house and she was so distracted on set that she didn’t notice that the blonde would always be busy talking to someone or running through lines with the writers whenever Lea wanted to talk to her.

Two weeks had passed after they’d cleared the air about the kiss and it was then, eventually, after having gone almost 48 hours without saying a single word to each other, that the reality of the situation became startlingly apparent to Lea; Dianna was avoiding her completely. It was as if a veil had been lifted off her eyes and she finally saw what was happening. She was surprised by how much the realisation stung and she found herself, sat on a plastic chair in the middle of the choir room set during a rehearsal, fighting back the tears that suddenly started brimming in her eyes.

Sitting up abruptly, and pushing the chair backwards causing it to clatter loudly to floor as it fell, Lea rushed out of the set, oblivious to the hazel eyes that followed her movements. All Lea was aware of was the sound of Dianna’s laughter as it filled the room she had just left.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

She returned to the set after only 10 minutes, she was a professional after all, and she had only need a short amount of time to compose herself before she made her way back. When she walked back into the set no one would have known that there was anything wrong; she stood straight and walked confidently, keeping a smile on her face as she passed by her cast mates before resuming her position on the same chair she had left.

“Sorry. I suddenly felt a little sick.” Lea explained calmly and smiled with triumph as everyone readily accepted her lie. She resolutely ignored the blonde’s eyes that she knew were trained on her face which in itself was confusing for her; why would someone begin to cut themselves out of their friends life, seemingly ignore them at every available opportunity, only to stare at said friend whenever they weren’t looking.

Each time they had a break Lea observed Dianna discreetly. The taller girl was quite shy and whilst she was able to easily joke about with her friends, she was never one of those people to roar with laughter in a huge group of people but that was exactly what she was doing and to Lea it almost looked as though she would deliberately burst into laughter whenever she thought the brunette was looking.

When production slowed because Cory had ripped his letterman jacket and they had to send a runner to get a replacement, Lea took the opportunity to test whether the blonde was really avoiding her or whether she was once again reading too much into the situation. She had noticed that whilst everyone was huddled in a group to her left, Dianna had remained where she was and was studying her phone with interest. Lea slipped out of her seat and sidled over, pulling an empty chair up to sit beside the blonde.

“Are you ignoring me?” She wasn’t sure when her tactic had changed from making small talk to jumping straight to the point but she couldn’t take the words back now so she decided to roll with it.

The taller girl looked up quickly having not noticed Lea arrive. Her eyes did a quick and rather panicked scan of the room, an exact copy of the way she had acted when she woke up with Lea in the bathroom. This time, however, Lea noticed Dianna swallowed hard, summoning up the courage to speak which the smaller girl instantly read as the blonde trying to find a lie.

“Of course not! Why would I be ignoring you?” Her voice betrayed nothing, she sounded calm and normal.

“Because of the kiss.” Lea said bluntly. She wasn’t going to beat around the bush on this one. As soon as the words were out of her mouth Dianna back shot upright and her eyes left Lea’s and swept the room again, making sure no one had heard. When she was certain they hadn’t been overheard she lowered herself again so she was level with Lea.

“I thought we were going to forget about it?” Her voice sounded almost desperate but Lea thought she could hear something else in her plea, something which didn’t fit; sadness.

“Me too but you’re ignoring me so I guess we have to rehash the whole thing again.” Their eyes met and the emotion that was swirling in the hazel orbs made Lea want to do two things; one was kiss the blonde which she knew was off limits and the other was to get inside her mind and find out exactly what she was thinking because she knew at this point that she wasn’t being told the whole story.

If Lea had been able to get into Dianna’s mind she would have been stunned by what she found.

Dianna felt as thought time had slowed as she saw Lea’s eyes lose their drunk sparkle and shift to something else, something more primal. She was aware of nothing but the proximity of the brunette and the smell of her perfume mixing with the alcohol in the air. Dianna knew what was going to happen and although in the back of her mind she was aware that she should step away and not allow this to happen she couldn’t control her body. She was still surprised when she felt Lea’s soft lips make contact with hers; she’d been wondering what they would feel like for a while now and the reality didn’t disappoint. Dianna found herself unable to move, even to respond to the kiss, she was in a strange place where she was shocked that it was happening but at the same time she had been expecting it and wanted it. Eventually her body took over, seemingly bypassing her brain, and she was aware of her lips moving, capturing the brunette’s bottom lip and gently tugging on it. Her tongue brushed Lea’s lips and she was instantly granted entry, meeting the smaller girl’s tongue in a frenzy. She felt Lea’s hands pull her closer and the feeling of the brunette’s body so close to hers ignited a dormant feeling in the pit of her stomach. That was when reality hit home: she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t be this person, the person who was in love with their best friend who was a girl. Being gay wasn’t something she needed in her life, especially when she was infatuated by her house mate who didn’t feel the same; Lea was drunk and she knew from past experience that when Lea got drunk, she tended to kiss people regardless of what she felt towards them. But she’d kissed her now, everything had been OK before that, before she’d tasted the smaller girl. Now it was messed up and she knew that she wouldn’t be able to control herself as well as she had been doing. So she pushed the smaller girl away and was aware of herself pleading to know why Lea would kiss her, a small part of her hoping that the smaller girl would admit that she had wanted to. Instead she was met with silence and Dianna knew in that moment that Lea thought it had been a mistake. She knew that she’d done the right thing by ending the kiss, by stopping it from going further but the pain was still there and she couldn’t stand to be near the brunette any longer so she ran.

But Dianna would never let Lea know what she had thought; this wasn’t her and whatever was going on between them was simply the result of living together and working together. They spent all their time together, something like this was bound to happen but it didn’t mean that it had to happen. At least that’s what she desperately tried to tell herself every day, she was walking a tightrope and Lea was about to make her lose her balance, again.

“I’m seriously not ignoring you Lea. Life is crazy right now, we’re all so busy with work and everything. You said yourself that the kiss meant nothing so why would I be ignoring you because of that?”

Lea shrugged her response. “Well if you’re not ignoring me can we maybe do something together tonight? Like we used to?” She studied the blonde, hoping to get a glimpse of what she wasn’t saying with her words but she was given nothing, just the same calm expression from earlier.

“Sure. Dinner?” Dianna smiled, a genuine smile with the warmth and feeling behind that Lea was used to and the brunette couldn’t help but match it, feeling that maybe the situation was righting itself again.

“Sounds perfect. Straight after work as usual?” Dianna nodded at Lea’s question, and acting on impulse, pulled the smaller girl into a hug. Lea felt her heart swell with the contact; there was something behind it that Dianna wasn’t verbalising but the hug felt almost desperate and Lea found herself wondering if possibly Dianna had been feeling just as horrible about their distance in the past few days.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The weeks after they firmly got their friendship back on track after having dinner after work were both the best and the hardest of Lea’s life. Dianna seemed to have completely forgotten about their previous issues centred around the kiss and had no problem with being close to the smaller girl again; she would wrap the brunette in her arms whilst they watched movies and would take her to her various secret spots within an hour radius of LA. Dianna had also started including Lea more and more in her photo excursions; usually the blonde would take off for the day with a collection of cameras, alone, but now she asked Lea to join her. Dianna rarely shared the photos she took on these trips with the smaller girl but when one day when her agent called and she had to take the call outside, Lea had snuck a look at the folder that had all the photos in and was surprised when she found that the folder contained quite a few shots of her. Lea was clearly unaware of the camera in all of the photos and as she looked through them she was left feeling uneasy by the fact that she couldn’t remember when she had looked so happy and at peace than in those moments.

It was a daily battle to reign in her emotions when it came to the blonde. She had found herself staring at the taller girl on many occasions and each hug or touch sent shivers running up her spine and sent her head spinning into a dizzy happiness. Lea knew that the situation was useless, Dianna’s reaction to the kiss had been evidence that there was nothing else but friendship in her mind, but as much as she tried to distance herself from the blonde she just kept coming back to her.

Lea decided she desperately needed to do something when she found herself breathing in the familiar scent of the blonde as they hugged each other one night before going to bed. She was dangerously close to becoming the weird stalker room mate and if she didn’t stop it soon she would be lost completely and would never recover.

So Lea took advantage of a week off they were given and took the first flight back to New York. She had nearly stayed in LA after she told Dianna who looked borderline heartbroken and had pleaded with her to stay. But she was determined, being around Dianna was bad for her, she had almost become addicted to the taller girl and she needed to detox herself. Withdrawal was going to be a bitch though.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The first day in the city was liberating for Lea, she felt as though she was thinking clearly for the first time in months. That was until she got a text from Dianna at midnight of the first night.

I miss you. D xx

Reading the text felt like sinking back into addiction after months of being clean; knowing that it was wrong and she shouldn’t do it but not caring at all because it felt so good.

I miss you too. How’s LA? x ~ L

As she waited for the reply she realised that actually her day had felt hollow and lifeless; she needed this, she was certain of it now, she needed this to survive.

Awful. Come home. D xx

Home. Their home. She couldn’t help but smile at the words on her screen and for the first time in weeks she let herself hope that perhaps Dianna felt something for her. The feeling was short lived when she reminded herself that it was impossible and any idea that she had entertained about jumping on a flight back to LA that night was squashed.

I can’t. I promised people I’d see them. I’ll be back in a week, surely you can cope without me till then? ;) x ~ L

I don’t think I can. D xx

Lea stopped breathing when she read the text. It felt too good to be true but it was real and it was staring her in the face.

How the hell do I respond to that?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The next chapter goes into a bit more detail on Dianna's side of things, we get some stuff from her perspective (it's all been from Lea up until now). It's all about her feelings and how she's dealing with them and how Lea wants to deal with it all. 

Beautiful Disaster 3/?

Title: Beautiful Disaster
Pairing: Lea/Dianna
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, it's fiction blah blah.  

A/N - This is a super long chapter I think. Well....for me it is. It's about 5,776 words which is just short of the word limit for my dissertation that took me four months to complete and yet I wrote that chapter in a fraction of the time......I feel like something is wrong with that. :S

Thanks so much for all the comments and reviews, keep em coming as they spur me on to write more. As always, if you want to see it go a certain way then let me know. 

Anyway, hope you enjoy. :D

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  ~

They were told they’d have to wait at least a week until they knew whether they would be back to film the next 13 episodes of Glee. There was a lot of editing to be done, ADR needed to be finished and Ryan was insisting on a couple of re-shoots after they’d run through a rough edit of the finished product.

Lea and Dianna didn’t get to see each other much during the week after the wrap party as they were always called to do different things on different days. When Lea was called into the studio to re-record some vocals, Dianna would be required to do some re-shoots; if Lea was needed for re-shoots, Dianna would be in the studio doing ADR.

The first day they had off together, Dianna practically kidnapped her and took her to her favourite spot in Griffith Park.

“Come on we’re nearly there.” She led Lea by the hand, pulling her along through the trees.

“I feel like this is the perfect set up for a murder to take place. My murder to be exact.” Lea grumbled, stumbling over tree roots as she took in her surroundings. They had left the path about ten minutes ago and even before then the smaller girl hadn’t seen any other people.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” The blonde responded, looking back to the smaller girl and laughing at her annoyed expression. “Ooooh we’re here.” Dianna exclaimed with delight as the thick trees gave way to open air and a large grassy clearing.

“Wow.” Lea breathed out as she took in the sight; they were standing in a clearing, overlooking the rest of the park below them; the city sprawling out to the south. She felt Dianna’s hand slip into hers and give it a light squeeze.

“It’s stunning isn’t it?” The blonde said quietly, watching Lea’s face as she took in the view.

“I think this might be the first time since leaving New York that I’ve actually appreciated Los Angeles.” The brunette also kept her voice quiet; there was something about the place that commanded peacefulness.

Dianna let go of Lea’s hand and busied herself setting up the blanket and picnic she had bought with her whilst the smaller girl continued to stare out at the city below her. She was eventually distracted by the sound of lids being taken off plastic tubs and she looked down to see a huge spread of food.

“When are the rest of the 5000 coming?” She asked, surprised at the amount of food Dianna had bought with her.

The blonde girl looked up at her sheepishly as she continued to unpack food from the hamper. “I got a bit carried away in Whole Foods. They had vegan cookies!” She brandished a box of cookies at the smaller girl who grinned as she took one and lowered herself to the ground to sit beside her friend.

“You’re like every guy’s dream girlfriend.” Lea commented as she took a bite of her cookie, not noticing the raised eyebrow of her friend at her comment. “Oh my god these are amazing.”

They were both silent for a while as they tucked into the food and looked out over the city.

“I’m so glad I met you.” Dianna broke the silence but kept her eyes straight ahead whilst Lea turned to look at her, weighing up the meaning of her words. She wasn’t sure whether she was reading too much into these little comments that Dianna kept making. Any sane person would probably just see this as something that friends said to one another but Lea hadn’t felt remotely sane since the day they’d met.

She knew that no matter what she did, should couldn’t let Dianna know what was going on in her head; they’d only been friends for just over a month and she was pretty sure this type of thing was a deal breaker amongst new friends. Especially since she wasn’t even sure herself what was going on and if she tried to talk about it, it would probably come out as a collection of ramblings that made no sense.

“Me too.” Lea eventually replied, sticking to neutral territory.

They spent most of the day in the clearing and managed to finish almost all of the food that Dianna had bought with them. Lea spent a lot of the time trying to reign in her thoughts and actions whenever Dianna would say something that didn’t quite fit with the friendship mould, or when she grabbed Lea’s hand or pulled her into a hug. On the drive home, whilst the blonde rambled on about the next camera she was intending to buy that came with different filter gels to create completely different tones to pictures, Lea realised that she may have just had one of the most perfect days of her life.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The next day

“You’re phone is ringing.” Dianna commented, looking down from her bowl of cereal at Lea’s phone that was on the couch beside her, buzzing furiously.

Lea appeared at the top of the stairs and sprinted down them, skidding along the floor in the socks as she tried to stop herself. She picked it up, not recognising the number but answering anyway.

“Hello?” Dianna watched the girls face as she nodded along to whatever the person on the other end was saying. “WHAT?” The brunette’s face suddenly drained of colour and she looked as though she had stopped breathing. “O….ok. Yeah….ok…..thanks.”

Dianna had put her bowl down on the table and moved to Lea’s side. She was worried that the smaller girl was about to pass out from whatever news she had received; it didn’t exactly look like she’d gotten good news.

“Are you ok?” Dianna asked gently, not wanting to push the brunette in case it was really bad news. Lea turned to stare at her, a look of shock still on her face.

“We….we got picked up.” If the room hadn’t been completely silent Dianna would have missed what the smaller girl had just said. As it was even though she’d heard every word she said she couldn’t actually believe it.

“We….what?” Dianna stuttered, not sure she really wanted to believe it in case it turned out not to be true.

The news suddenly seemed to sink in for Lea and her face erupted into a huge grin as she punched the air and jumped up and down. “We’re going to primetime!” She pulled Dianna into her and spun her around, shrieking with excitement.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.” Lea had released the blonde who was now stood staring at the smaller girl in disbelief, repeating the same words over and over again.

“Why are you surprised? Didn’t you tell me there was no way we wouldn’t get picked up?”

“Yeah. I only said it because you were freaking out, I didn’t actually think it would happen.” They were both silent for a while, letting it sink in that they were going to be on a prime time TV show. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Call your mom. Call everyone.” Lea suggested, picking up Dianna’s phone from the coffee table and pushing it into her hand. “Then, we party!”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The day had been a whirlwind of phone calls and emails sent to family and friends, as well as the rest of the cast. Ryan and Brad had both called to congratulate them, although Ryan had followed his congratulations up with an outline of the schedule for filming the next thirteen episodes, which sounded even more gruelling than the schedule for the pilot. Lea and Dianna couldn’t care at that point though; they were still on a high.

In between phone calls the two girls had either sat in stunned silence or had excitedly discussed what they would be purchasing with their first pay checks. Dianna had then had a minor melt down about becoming famous and the paparazzi following her everywhere and Lea had to calm her down by reminding her that she could use her fame for good and campaign for PETA with her.

Ryan, it seemed, had been pretty confident that they would get a slot in the fall line up because he had booked out a venue in advance for a celebration party that night. He’d even splashed out, presumably with money from FOX, for an open bar.

Lea and Dianna had invited Amber, Jenna, Kevin, Chris and Cory round for drinks before they went out. Cory had bought Mark with him, complaining that the ration of girls to boys was too high, and Dianna had insisted on inviting Naya who Lea hadn’t really had an opportunity to talk to very much.

“I’m gonna drink until I can’t stand up.” Kevin announced as he walked into their house, Jenna trailing behind him waving a bottle of tequila in the air like a prize.

Kevin’s statement had pretty much set the standard for the night and by the time they all arrived at the party they were all fairly worse for wear.

“You, me, shots.” Dianna declared, inter-twining her fingers with Lea’s and pulling her towards the bar. The blonde ordered four shots of tequila, passing two over to Lea and keeping two for herself. “One straight after the other, GO” Dianna picked up the first shot, throwing the liquid back before grabbing the second. Lea rushed to catch up as Kevin and Cory cheered them on from their place next to them at the bar.

Lea spluttered as she finished the second shot, the liquid burning her throat and settling unpleasantly in her stomach but Dianna looked unbothered by the alcohol.

“Like a champ!” Cory yelled, putting his hand up for a high five which the blonde keenly met, grinning broadly. “We should rename you Dianna ‘Shots’ Agron. It’s totally badass.”

“Yeaaaaaaahhhhh.” Dianna shouted out, high fiving both of the boys again who looked thoroughly impressed with her ability to drink shots like water. Then she turned to Lea. “Alright, two more.”

Lea groaned at the prospect but didn’t refuse; she needed this. She had been so stressed over the past month that she needed a night to completely unwind. Tonight was that night. When Dianna passed her the shots she didn’t wait for the blonde before she necked both of them, wiping her face of spilt tequila when she finished and turning to the blonde, grinning at her achievement.

Dianna stared at the brunette wide eyed as she finished off the two shots. “Holy……uhhh we’re going to be so ill.” The blonde shrugged off her own words and proceeded to drink her own two shots.

“You are my favourite people.” Cory slurred, draping his arms over both of them and pulling them into him, almost causing them to fall of their bar stools. Their eyes met as they looked past the barrier that was Cory and they grinned at each other; both feeling the effects of the shots already. The taller boy clearly noticed their attention was no longer on him and so he spoke again. “Let’s take this to the dance floor.”

“Dances for Cory!” Lea exclaimed as she slipped off her stool to follow him, shoving Dianna along in front of her as they stumbled to catch up with Cory.

As they made their way to the dance floor, Cory once again put both his arms around them, holding them both in a tight grip. Lea felt Dianna’s hand grab hers behind the tall boy’s back and she leaned forward to catch the blonde’s eye and was met with a wink.

The alcohol was coursing through her bloodstream and she didn’t bother to over think this particular situation; instead she ducked out from under Cory’s arm and pulled Dianna away from him as well. They pushed their way through the crowd to the centre of the dance floor which was packed with an extremely excited and drunk collection of cast and crew. Even Ryan was dancing with abandon, holding a cocktail in each hand and repeatedly screaming ‘I love showtunes’.

The music washed over Lea and she felt her body give itself over to it, her hips beginning to sway to the beat. In the haze that the tequila had created the smaller girl was vaguely aware of the blonde settling herself in front of her, pressing her back into Lea’s front and moving her body in time with the other girls. Dianna’s hands grasped the smaller girl’s tightly, pulling them down to settle on her hips as she guided their movements.

Lea wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol that was causing the swirling in her head or the actions of the blonde; there was no space between them as Dianna exaggerated every movement, pushing herself back into the smaller girl and dropping her head back onto Lea’s shoulder, exposing the perfect skin of her neck.

Oh Christ, this is not normal. Is this normal? She tried to think through the situation, desperately trying to justify their current position as something friends would do but as Dianna grinded into her she felt all rational thought leave her mind. Oh fuck it. She didn’t care anymore. All she could think about was the feeling of the blonde against her and the intoxicating smell of coconut that wafted over her every time Dianna moved. Lea let herself go, giving into the moment.

She was completely unaware of Cory, Mark and Kevin standing to the side of them, watching the spectacle with their mouths open and their eyes wide, occasionally shoving each other to make sure they were all witnessing the same thing.

“This is so hot.” Cory commented as he took in the sight of Lea’s hands roaming over Dianna’s body and the blonde respond by reaching behind her, running her hands through the brunette’s hair. They looked completely lost in each other.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dianna and Lea had been dancing in their own little world for well over an hour before the blonde finally pulled away, trailing her hand from its position in the brunette’s hair to take her hand and pull her towards the bar.

“Water.” The blonde explained as she called back over her shoulder at the confused brunette who felt as though she had just been woken up from a three year coma and couldn’t remember where on earth she was or how she came to be there. Lea could only nod in agreement as her mind tried to process the last hour.

They came to a stop in front of the bar and Dianna ordered two bottles of water, taking the first that arrived and gulping it down. “That was so much fun.” She grinned at Lea who was still in a bit of a daze and couldn’t take her eyes off the taller girl. It was as though the brunette was seeing her for the first time and was amazed by what she saw.

Before she could stop herself Lea gently pressed her lips to the blonde’s. She pulled Dianna closer to her, adding extra pressure to the girl’s lips which until that exact moment had remained resolutely still. Now, however, the blonde began to kiss back. It was tentative at first, an exploration of the sensation and Lea’s head began swimming with the feeling of the blonde’s lips on hers, moving perfectly with her. A hand that she seemed to have no control over worked its way to the girl’s neck, her fingers splaying at the base of her head, deepening the kiss. Her eyes had shut a long time ago but sound now also began to filter out of her conscious until all she could hear were the sounds of their hurried breaths and her own heart beating heavily in her chest.

She came crashing back to reality when she felt a hand forcefully push her away. Her eyes flicked open to find Dianna staring at her in shock, one hand pressed to her mouth and the other extended in front of her, keeping the brunette at a safe distance.

“What are you doing?” The blonde asked quietly, her eyes searching the smaller girl’s face looking for an answer.

What am I doing? Lea thought to herself. She had no idea why she’d kissed Dianna other than the fact that it felt natural at the time.

“I….uh….I….I was…..” Lea trailed off when she realised that she had no explanation for her actions. She looked to the blonde, needing her to tell her it was OK, that it didn’t really matter but instead what she saw were tears filling the blonde’s eyes.

“Why would you do that?” Dianna asked desperately. Lea had no response and her mouth just opened and closed uselessly. The blonde stared at her for a second longer before shaking her head and turning quickly, vanishing out of the room.

Lea couldn’t move; she stood staring at the place where Dianna had been for what felt like ages before Chris suddenly tackled her from the side, snapping her out of her daze.

“Oh my god how amazing is this? We’re going to be on TV!” He squealed with excitement as she spun her around as best he could with his limited strength. Lea attempted a smile but struggled to share his excitement with the knowledge that she may well have blown her friendship with Dianna.

Why did you kiss her you idiot? I couldn’t just be a normal human being and just let it go. No I had to go and do something stupid and scare her off.

But she was being exceptionally flirty tonight. I didn’t make it up; she danced with me, her hands were doing everything. And she did take me to the park that time. That’s surely not normal friend behaviour.

NO! Dianna is just one of those people who’s touchy feely with everyone, it hasn’t meant anything all these times and it didn’t mean anything tonight. I read too much into it.

Except……she’s shy. She doesn’t normally act like that with people.

Well I haven’t watched her every move. For all I know she’s like that with everyone. I’ve never seen her with her other friends, her friends before Glee.

ENOUGH!


Lea snapped herself out of the debate she had going on in her mind and focused her eyes on Chris who was watching her, his face plastered with confusion.

“Everything alright?” The boy asked, curious as to know why she had zoned out for so long.

“Uh. Yeah. Just too much tequila.” She explained, remembering the bottle of water Dianna had ordered for her and swiftly picking it up, swigging it down in attempt to quell the nausea she was beginning to feel.

That’s it! You were drunk. Just …. Blame it on the alcohol.

Chris raised an eyebrow, knowing that she wasn’t telling him the truth but thankfully he also recognised that she clearly did not want to talk about whatever the real reason was.

Lea assumed from his silence that he hadn’t witnessed the kiss, which she was thankful for. It would be easier on both her and Dianna if it remained between the two of them.

“Well…..I’m going to go and talk to Amber. I’ll be over there if you need me.” Chris excused himself as Lea stared off into the distance, once again deep in thought. She didn’t even register his departure. So once again she found herself standing alone, staring at the exit, silently willing Dianna to come back in and laugh with her about it all. The longer she stood there, however, the more apparent it became that Dianna wasn’t coming back.

She didn’t know what to do. Was this a situation where she should go home and try to talk about it with the other girl or was this something that required space for her to think about it. If it was the latter then Lea had no idea what she was going to do with the rest of her night; she couldn’t go home as Dianna would be there.

Oh my god what if she moves out?


That settled it for Lea. She dropped the bottle of water into her bag and hurried out of the room in the direction that Dianna had gone not bothering to say goodbye to anyone.

Once outside she tried to hail a cab as quickly as she could, which proved to be a lot harder than it was in New York. She cursed LA loudly as she slipped off her heels which were beginning to send shooting pain across the balls of her feet. Lea stepped into the road, spotting a taxi coming, and waved frantically, trying to flag it down. She barely waited for it to completely stop before she jumped in, directing the driver to her house.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Dianna? Dianna?” She called out as she made her way around the house. The lights had all been off when she pulled up outside and the house was empty. She still rushed through the house, checking and double checking the rooms. She peeked her head into Dianna’s room, all her stuff was still there which was a good sign but the blonde was nowhere to be seen.

She stood helplessly in the middle of the kitchen, surrounded by the mess of the pre-party they’d had before going out that evening.

What do I do now?

Her answer came when her phone buzzed.

Where the heck are you? – C

Lea sighed with disappointed when she realised that it wasn’t Dianna. She navigated out of the text and to her contacts, scrolling through to find the blonde’s number and pressing dial before she bottled out. The phone rang and rang, eventually switching to answer phone.

Hi, it’s Dianna. I’m doing something that doesn’t involve my phone so leave me a message and I’ll call you back when I can.

Lea groaned and hung up. She didn’t want to leave a message to explain herself, mostly because she had no idea what she’d say. She couldn’t explain herself and she wasn’t exactly sure she wanted to; she’d wanted to kiss Dianna this evening and it wasn’t the first time she’d wanted to and as much as she wished and hoped that she could tell the blonde everything she was feeling she knew that realistically all it would achieve would be awkward silences and a broken friendship.

She moved into the lounge and fell face first onto the sofa, burying her face into the pillows and trying to block out the events of the night. Her head was still swimming with effects of the alcohol and the room was spinning violently. Her phone buzzed again and she reached for it lazily, expecting to see another worried text from Chris. Her heart raced when she saw the name of the sender: Dianna. She hurriedly clicked into the message, nearly dropping the phone in her excitement.

I just need some space right now. D

Lea’s heart sank. Not only did Dianna feel it necessary to get away from her but she’d also noticeably stopped putting kisses at the end of her texts. Lea wasn’t normally the kind of person who read a lot into how many kisses people put on the end of texts, she normally put one at the end of all hers as standard. However, she did notice when there was an absence of them where they had once been.

She threw her phone across the room in frustration, frowning as it skidded to a stop against the wall but remained in tact; it hadn’t quite had the destructive effect she’d wanted. Nothing was going right for her tonight. Lea lowered her head into the pillow again and screamed in frustration before deciding that the best thing to do was to drink more. A voice in the back of her head was screaming at her to stop, knowing that if Dianna returned home tonight and Lea was drunk she would probably do something else she’d regret. The voice had little significance to her, however, and she soon found herself standing in the kitchen eyeing up the various bottles of alcohol that had been left. She spotted a bottle of tequila with just over a quarter of the liquid left in it and quickly lifted it off the counter and bought it straight to her lips. The burning sensation of the alcohol slipping down her throat was welcomed and she took a second, bigger swig before returning to the lounge.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

She was faintly aware of the sound of keys turning in the lock of the front door and the sound of the door clicking as it was closed gently behind the newcomer. She groaned, her head foggy with the effects of the alcohol, and wiped her hand across her mouth, embarrassingly aware of the fact that she had drooled all over the couch. Sitting up she realised that not only had she passed out but also that Dianna had come home. The clock on the wall behind her told her it was 4:15 in the morning.

The blonde stopped in her tracks as she noticed the smaller girl on the couch in front of her. “Lea?” She asked, eyeing up the empty bottle of tequila and the brunette’s dishevelled look.

“Hi.” Lea had prepared a speech in her head whilst waiting for Dianna to come home; she’d rehearsed it repeatedly, changing it every time until she came up with the perfect version. Now it had gone from her head completely. In fact, all logical thought had just vanished leaving a gaping void and the feeble word ‘hi’. She inwardly cringed at her own uselessness.

“Were you waiting up for me?” Dianna asked carefully, watching Lea as she straightened herself up, running a hand through her hair, trying to tame the wild mess that it had become. The smaller girls make up had run down her face; it looked as though she had been crying and Dianna’s heart broke a little at the sight.

Lea didn’t know how to respond. She didn’t want to say ‘yes’ in case it frightened the taller girl away again but she didn’t want to say ‘no’ in case what Dianna really needed to hear right now was that Lea had spent her evening waiting for her to sort the situation out. And to be honest she wasn’t actually sure if she had been waiting for the taller girl to get back; her decision to stay on the couch could have been almost entirely dictated by tequila. There was no happy medium so instead she decided to mumble something indecipherable.

“What?” Dianna asked, taking a step closer to the brunette.

“I ….. uh……alittlebityeah.” Lea rushed the last bit of the sentence out, hoping that Dianna wouldn’t ask her to clarify or repeat it. She figured that if she’d not wanted to wait for the blonde to return she probably would have taken her tequila to bed with her. “Look I’m sorry about earlier.” Her words were slurred and she made an attempt to move off the couch to close the distance between the two of them but the blonde took a hasty step backwards and Lea stumbled in her drunkenness.

“It’s fine. Can we just pretend like it never happened?” Dianna was now looking everywhere but the smaller girl who slouched dejectedly on the couch.

“Sure.” The words slipped out of Lea’s mouth quietly and she bit her lip, weighing up whether to continue speaking or not. “I was drunk, it didn’t……”

“Please Lea.” Dianna pleaded with her, her voice sounded strained and Lea knew that if she wanted to keep any semblance of normality to their friendship she needed to stop trying to explain it away and just do what the blonde asked of her; to forget about it.

She ducked her head, submitting to the blonde’s request despite the fact that internally she was screaming that she couldn’t forget it. She could blame it on the alcohol as much as she wanted but at the end of the day she had only done that evening what she hadn’t realised she’d wanted to do and hadn’t had the guts to do whilst sober.

Lea chanced a look up at the blonde, trying to make it as subtle as possible; the last thing Dianna needed right now was to catch her staring at her with longing. She hadn’t been expecting to meet hazel orbs and her breath caught in her throat before Dianna quickly looked away.

“I think I’m going to go to bed.” The blonde muttered, not waiting for Lea’s response before taking the stairs two at a time. Lea heard the door close behind the girl and collapsed back on the couch, releasing a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She let her mind wander back over the events of the night although her thoughts quickly drifted off to every memory she had of the blonde. Her stomach felt like it was in knots as she revisited every interaction, every word spoken and look exchanged. Suddenly the knot tightened and she felt her stomach contract, pushing its contents back up her oesophagus. Lea clamped a hand to her mouth and sprinted up the stairs, throwing herself through the bathroom door and barely managing to make it to the toilet before the contents of her stomach expelled itself forcefully.

She coughed as the vomit subsided, trying to clear the unpleasant feeling from her throat but this just led to another wave of nausea and she found herself head down in the toilet bowl again, groaning at the continuous contractions of her stomach.

Once she was certain she had nothing left to get out she flushed the toilet and collapsed against the side of the bath, tears streaming down her face.

Fuck you Dianna

She cursed the blonde mentally for making her feel this way although realistically in the back of her mind she knew that the alcohol had played a huge factor in her being sick, it just felt easier to blame the blonde for everything.

It’s your own fault.

The little voice piped up before she could silence it and she growled at the thought. It was her fault though; she had kissed Dianna, she had chosen to take every action to mean something.

“Are you OK?” If Lea hadn’t already been sitting on the floor she was sure that she would have just fallen off whatever she had been sitting on. She hadn’t heard Dianna leave her bedroom, let alone noticed her standing in the doorway. Lea didn’t want to meet her eyes, she was still swinging like a pendulum between blaming herself and blaming the blonde and right now she wanted to blame the blonde so she tried to keep her eyes away from hers; there was no need to make this situation worse. “I heard you……you know.” She waved her hand towards the toilet.

Lea sighed. Perfect.

Dianna dropped down to her knees beside the smaller girl, tucking her feet under her legs and reaching forward to tuck some loose strands of Lea’s hair behind her ear. She then used her hand to tilt the girl’s chin up so she was forced to finally meet the blonde’s eyes. Her eyes bore into Lea’s and the smaller girl felt completely exposed but she couldn’t tear her eyes away. The air seemed to crackle as it did during a thunderstorm, the latent electricity building before the lightening pierced the sky. She vaguely wondered whether there’d be any lightening in this room.

“Do you need anything?” When Dianna spoke the electricity dissipated. The blonde was still holding the smaller girls gaze but her expression had changed, taking on a mixture of confusion, guilt and regret. The problem was, was working out which emotion belonged to which action or thought that was going on inside the blonde’s head. If only Lea could get inside and work this whole thing; surely this wasn’t the behaviour of someone who only hours earlier had pleaded for space.

Lea swallowed hard, trying to control her thoughts and her heartbeat. It had been less than 6 hours since she was last this close to the blonde and already the proximity was making her feel like she’d found an oasis in the desert, quenching her thirst after being parched for so long.

“I think maybe I should just go to bed.” She mumbled, wanting this day to be over already and hoping that tomorrow she would wake up and discover that it had all been an elaborate dream.

“I think you should drink some water. Or eat something. You’ll feel like crap in the morning if you don’t.” Dianna kept her voice quiet and gentle but Lea felt herself wanting her to go back to being angry and needing space; she wasn’t sure she could handle this anymore.

“I think I’ve puked up most of the alcohol. I’ll be fine.” She braced herself on her hands and pushed herself into a standing position, immediately regretting it when the room skewed violently and her stomach churned. Very quickly she found herself back on the floor, clutching the toilet bowl in anticipation.

“I’ll go get you something to eat and some water.”

Why is she being so nice? Why is she always so nice?

Lea lowered her head to the rim of the toilet and rested it there, thankful that they were both scarily anal about cleaning. Her eyes fluttered closed as she forced herself to think about anything but Dianna and tequila.

When the blonde returned to the bathroom clutching a hastily prepared sandwich and a bottle of ice cold water she found the smaller girl fast asleep against the toilet, her arms wrapped around the bowl, hanging on for dear life. Dianna lowered herself into a sitting position opposite the brunette and placed the sandwich and water on the floor beside the smaller girl. She extended her feet, jamming them against the side of the bath so she wouldn’t keep sliding on the tiles and carefully watched the rise and fall of Lea’s chest as she breathed steadily. A small smile crept across her face as the smaller girl let out a loud snore.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

There it is. My head hurts now. 

Beautiful Disaster 2/?

Title: Beautiful Disaster 2/?
Rating: T
Disclaimer: As always, a work of fiction.

A/N - Next chapter came about pretty quickly cos I got quite excited and had to get it all down. I'm really, really enjoying writing this one which I hope will mean it's pretty good. I think this update is pretty short, I'm not sure, I think I've lost all concept of space/time/length of chapters. 

Hope you enjoy it. I might also post the beginning of my other fic in a bit if people are interested. It will be quite different to this I think. 

Oh also, I love reading your reviews..... they make me all happy and stuff so yeah, keep them coming. And thanks so much for reading! :D


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

They were half way through their last week of filming the pilot and Los Angeles was experiencing one of its rare storms. Lea was lying awake in her bed, staring at the ceiling as she listened to the wind driving rain into the windows and the sound of thunder rolling over the hills. She sighed, knowing she wouldn’t be able to sleep and rolled over, looking over to the clock that read 2:49.

There was a small knock at her bedroom door. “Lea?” She turned in her bed and propped herself up on her elbows.

“Come in.” She called back. The door opened, letting a stream of light into the room which silhouetted the figure of Dianna in the doorway.

“Are you sleeping?” The blonde asked, hesitating at the doorway as to whether she should come in further or not.

“Not likely. Are you ok?” She was concerned as to what had bought the blonde to her room at 3 in the morning.

“You’re going to think I’m an idiot.” Dianna took a step towards the bed, letting the door fall shut behind her. “I’m scared of the thunder.” The blonde was glad it was dark because she could feel herself reddening with embarrassment. “Ow.” There was a thud as Dianna walked into the corner of the brunette’s chest of drawers. The downside of having closed the door behind her was that she had lost her only light source. Lea reached out to her bedside table, flicking on the light and blinking at the sudden change.

The light revealed Dianna standing at the foot of her bed, wearing very short sleeping shorts and a tight tank top. Lea felt herself blush as she noticed first the exposed flesh of her taut stomach and then the fact that the blonde wasn’t wearing a bra. She wished now that she hadn’t turned the light on but Dianna didn’t seem to have noticed.

“You want to stay in here tonight?” Lea offered, trying to calm her quickening heart beat. What the hell is wrong with me?

“You wouldn’t mind?” The blonde didn’t wait for Lea’s confirmation, however, because another loud clap of thunder rumbled through the house and Dianna very quickly launched herself into the bed, landing half on top of Lea.

“Oh jesus Dianna!” Lea gasped as the wind was knocked out of her. The blonde would have apologised if it wasn’t for the fit of laughter that had suddenly overcome her. She was partly amused with the way she had reaction to the sound of the thunder but also because of the loud squeaking noise that Lea had emitted when she’d landed on her.

Whilst Dianna was trying to control her laughter Lea was trying to control her breathing. The blonde was practically lying on top of her, her body flush against her own. The smell of the coconut shampoo that the blonde used washed over her and she closed her eyes for a second, drinking in the smell before suddenly snapping them open as she realised what she was doing. She tried to wriggle out from underneath the hysterical blonde but all she achieved by doing so was to cause both her own pyjama top and Dianna’s to ride up, exposing bare flesh that pressed against her and sent shivers up her spine.

Lea had absolutely no idea what was going on; why her body was reacting to the blonde in this way. You haven’t had sex in a while, Lea, that’s it. It’s nothing.

It wasn’t a very satisfactory excuse but it did the job. However, she still needed to get the blonde off her before she went into sensory overload; the feeling of the blonde shuddering with laughter was doing strange things to Lea’s body; things she was not comfortable with happening.

She gently shoved the blonde off her and was thankful that Dianna was too wrapped up in her own amusement to notice or care.

It seemed that gaining a bit of distance from Lea began to calm the blonde down. “I’m so sorry.” She said as calmly as she could although she still giggled towards the end as she replayed Lea’s squeak in her mind.

“I’m sure I’ll recover eventually, apparently you can still lead a relatively normal life with broken ribs.”

Lea had only been joking but Dianna’s mood shifted suddenly from amusement to abject horror and concern for her friend. “Oh my god, I didn’t break your ribs did I?” She reached over and lifted up Lea’s top, checking her over for signs of broken ribs, although she had no idea what the signs would be.

Lea’s breath caught in her throat at the action and she practically stopped breathing when she felt the blonde’s hand brush against her ribs. Ooooookay. She pushed Dianna hand’s away and pulled her top down.

“I was kidding. Nothing’s broken.”

If Dianna had thought that Lea’s action of pushing her away was strange, she didn’t show it but instead smiled with relief that she hadn’t seriously damaged the smaller girl.

There was another loud clap of thunder which wiped the smile from Dianna’s face and sent her swiftly under the covers. Lea, who was beginning to feel she had more control over her body, laughed at the blonde.

“You’re ridiculous.” She said at the shape under the sheets. Dianna pushed the sheet off her face to pout at the brunette. “Fine, you know what? Come here.” She stretched out her arms and Dianna shuffled closer to her, settling against her and pulling the smaller girl’s arms around her. “Better?” Lea whispered quietly in the blonde’s ear.

“Much. Thank you.”

“No problem. Now go to sleep.”

It didn’t take long for Dianna to fall asleep but Lea stayed awake until just before dawn. There was something about having the blonde wrapped in her arms that felt….different. She couldn’t place exactly what the feeling was. She found herself spending a large part of the night simply watching the sleeping girl before she would catch herself and look away. At one point she did try to move away from Dianna but the blonde grumbled and held onto her arms and so Lea was trapped in that position all night.

When the morning rolled around Lea had only managed to get 2 hours sleep and when the alarm went off to wake her up she groaned in frustration before freeing one of her arms and slapping the alarm clock, sending it flying off her bedside table and coming to a stop by her bedroom door.

“That was the best night’s sleep I’ve got in ages.” Dianna’s groggy voice sounded beside her. The blonde detached herself from Lea and stretched out on the bed, once again exposing the flexing muscles of her stomach which caused a flutter in Lea’s heart and a blush to rise on her cheeks. What is going on with me? She wondered as she took in the sight of the blonde in her bed. She shook her head, trying to shake the thoughts out of her mind. “Thanks for letting me stay in here last night.” Dianna rolled over, placing a light kiss on Lea’s cheek and then pushed herself off the bed, padding towards the door and exiting the room with a little wave back to the brunette.

Is it normal for friends to kiss one another in bed? Lea wondered as she stared at the door where the blonde had just left. You’re being ridiculous; it was just a peck on the cheek. She’s done it loads of times before, that was no different.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“And that’s a wrap on the pilot of Glee.” Ryan voice boomed across the set and caused an eruption of cheers and claps.

Lea had been standing in the middle of the room, on her mark, frozen in disbelief that this might be the end of the journey and she would never be here working with these amazing people again. She was broken from her thoughts when she was suddenly tackled by Dianna who was screaming excitedly in her ear.

“We did it!” The blonde pulled back from the hug and spun the smaller girl around.

Lea wasn’t quite as ready to celebrate as everyone else. She couldn’t help but worry that this was the end of their Glee journey and after this she would have to try to find another job and that might involve moving back to New York for Broadway, which would mean leaving everyone she had met in LA.

Dianna noticed the smaller girl’s gloomy demeanour but before she could say anything about it the pair found themselves in the middle of a group hug and Lea was being pulled away from her by other people.

Ryan had organised a wrap party that evening on the Paramount lot. Everyone was having fun and chatting enthusiastically about the future of Glee and it seemed that only Lea was concerned that there would be no future. She wasn’t sure what had changed in her attitude towards the show; she had been so confident in the beginning that it would become a huge success but now she realised how much she would lose if it wasn’t picked up. It seemed as though her subconscious was preparing her for the worst.

Lea had spent a good portion of the night doing the rounds of the cast and crew, trying to maintain her usually bubbly exterior and talk to everyone. Now she found herself standing at the edge of the roof of the sound stage; she had found the spot in the first week of filming and came up there whenever she needed a break. She liked to look out on the rest of the city and wonder what other people were doing with their days.

The night was clear and Lea breathed in the air deeply, her eyes scanning the lights of the city as she went over the events of the last month. It had all gone so quickly and so much had changed; she wasn’t sure she would be able to cope if she lost it all now.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of arms wrapping around her waist and a chin being rested on her shoulder. She knew instinctively that it was Dianna; she was the only other person who knew about Lea’s secret spot. The blonde had been searching for Lea for an hour that day before she had eventually called her and been instructed on how to get to the roof. The next day they bought a pair of fold up chairs and took them up to the roof when no one was looking so that they could both go up there and relax when they needed to.

“You just missed an amaaaazing dance from Colfer. It was beautiful.” The blonde slurred in Lea’s ear causing the smaller girl to giggle.

“Miss Agron, are you drunk?” She asked, feigning shock.

“I prefer the term alcoholically altered.” Dianna breathed, stumbling slightly and pulling herself closer to the smaller girl for support. “Mmmm. You smell nice.” She added.

Before Lea could react to the words she felt Dianna step away from her and take her hand, twisting her round and pulling her into a hug. “Don’t worry so much. We’ll all still be friends if Glee isn’t picked up. But, it will be so you…like…really don’t need to worry.”

“How do you always know what I’m thinking about?” Lea asked, pulling back from the hug slightly.

“I’m psychic. I’ve kept it secret for a while but I’m thinking that maybe I should just tell the world. I think it would give me an edge.” She had such a serious look on her face that Lea couldn’t help but explode with laughter.

“You’re such a dork.”

“You wouldn’t have me any other way.” Dianna winked at her. Lea was reminded of the first day she met the blonde when she had told her she could think of worse things than being stuck with the brunette. The words that the blonde had just spoken had the same sense of having another meaning, other than a casual friendly comment, that Lea couldn’t quite place.

Their eyes locked for what seemed like forever before Dianna shifted her gaze out over the city. “It’s beautiful.”

Lea didn’t follow her gaze, instead keeping her eyes trained on the blonde’s face. The lights of the city illuminated her face, causing it take on an almost ethereal appearance. “Yeah. It is.”


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Beautiful Disaster 1/?

Title: Beautiful Disaster
Rating: T
Pairing: Lea/Dianna
Summary: Lea and Dianna became best friends on the set of Glee but for Lea it might be something more?
Disclaimer: Massive work of fiction

A/N - I tried, I mean I really really tried to not write any more fic and concentrate on my work but I managed about 2 days before I was back to writing and in that day I started two news fics. This is the beginning of one of them, I'll probably concentrate on this one (I like it more) and then maybe go back to the other one once (if) I finish this. This is fairly slow moving at first but I dropped a spoiler in right at the beginning just to get a taster of what's to come. It's obviously set around the filming of the pilot and I know absolutely nothing about what happened at that time (ie official interviews, any pics we got etc) so whilst it is based on real time, it is not taking into account any actual events that occurred. If you want me to include any actual events that happened around the time then just let me know what it was and I'll put it in. 

A/N - This is kind of based almost solely from Lea's perspective whereas Little Steps was obviously from both of their perspectives. So far this has been quite fun to work with. 

A/N - Hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think and if you like it I'll continu
e. Also, sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Before she could stop herself Lea gently pressed her lips to the blonde’s. She pulled Dianna closer to her, adding extra pressure to the girl’s lips which until that exact moment had remained resolutely still. Now, however, the blonde began to kiss back. It was tentative at first, an exploration of the sensation and Lea’s head began swimming with the feeling of the blonde’s lips on hers, moving perfectly with her. A hand that she seemed to have no control over worked its way to the girl’s neck, her fingers splaying at the base of her head, deepening the kiss. Her eyes had shut a long time ago but sound now also began to filter out of her conscious until all she could hear were the sounds of their hurried breaths and her own heart beating heavily in her chest.

She came crashing back to reality when she felt a hand forcefully push her away. Her eyes flicked open to find Dianna staring at her in shock, one hand pressed to her mouth and the other extended in front of her, keeping the brunette at a safe distance.

“What are you doing?” The blonde asked quietly, her eyes searching the smaller girl’s face looking for an answer.

What am I doing? Lea thought to herself. She had no idea why she’d kissed Dianna other than the fact that it felt natural at the time.

“I….uh….I….I was…..” Lea trailed off when she realised that she had no explanation for her actions. She looked to the blonde, needing her to tell her it was OK, that it didn’t really matter but instead what she saw were tears filling the blonde’s eyes.

“Why would you do that?” Dianna asked desperately. Lea had no response and her mouth just opened and closed uselessly. The blonde stared at her for a second longer before shaking her head and turning quickly, vanishing out of the room.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A month earlier

Lea had always considered herself to be a very confident person; she wasn’t intimidated by much but as she approached the Paramount lot for the first table read through of the Glee pilot she was terrified. She knew she had talent but she was worried that she would sit down, go through her lines and the producers would suddenly realise they had made a huge mistake and actually she didn’t belong in their show.

She tried to push the feelings of self doubt out of her mind as she worked her way through the corridors of the administrative building. She’d checked and double checked what room she was meant to go to and exactly how to get there, as well as timing herself once before to make sure she’d get there on time. The least she could do was to prove that she was professional.

She looked down at her watch; she was actually half an hour early. Lea had a bit of a complex about time; if she knew it took her ten minutes to get somewhere she would still leave twenty minutes to get there. She was always at least five minutes early to everything.

Lea slowed down as she approached the correct room; there was no one around except for a tall blonde girl who was standing nervously outside the same room she was meant to be in. She surveyed the girl; she was slim and extremely pretty but was quite clearly even more terrified than Lea as she was wringing her hands together and shuffling her feet, staring at a fixed spot on the wall in front of her. Lea smiled; she had a feeling she was going to get on well with this girl.

“Hi.” She called out as she approached the other girl. The blonde’s head snapped around and hazel eyes met hers, nervously taking in Lea’s sudden presence. The brunette smiled, attempting to calm the other girl’s obvious nerves.

“Hi.” The blonde’s voice was quiet and she kept darting her eyes away from Lea’s, obviously not wanting to maintain a prolonged eye contact.

“I’m Lea.” She stuck her hand out, keeping the smile on her face. The other girl took her hand hesitantly.

“Dianna.” She responded, smiling for the first time.

“I’m terrified.” Lea confessed as she settled into position next to the blonde who was now watching her carefully. “I’m convinced their going to realise they’ve made a mistake and fire me.”

To Lea’s delight this seemed to set Dianna completely at ease and she visibly relaxed next to her, smiling broadly at the smaller girl’s confession.

“Oh me too. I’m half expecting them to see me here and realise they actually called the wrong person.” She laughed, definitely beginning to feel a lot more comfortable in the brunette’s presence now that they had discussed a shared fear.

“We’ll stick together then, we’ll be an unstoppable force.” They smiled at one another, knowing that they would become firm friends.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The first table read through went surprisingly well; after having met Dianna in the corridor they didn’t leave each others side for the entire day. By the end of the day Lea had completely forgotten her previous fears but it had been replaced with a new fear; that of the pilot not being picked up. She loved the idea of the show and knew it would be excellent for her career but more than that she just wanted to continue to spend time with the people she had met today. She had met some people today that she could see becoming life long friends.

They were due to begin rehearsals and filming tomorrow morning so everyone was heading home to get some sleep before they began; the schedule already looked crazy and they only shooting one episode.

As Lea approached her car she heard someone call her name softly. She turned around to see Dianna jogging slightly to catch up with her.
“Hey.” The blonde said breathlessly as she stopped in front of Lea. “So we didn’t get fired.” She smiled broadly at the brunette.

“No, no we didn’t. Guess that means you’re stuck with me.”

“Well I could think of worse things.” Their eyes locked and they were silent for a moment, each weighing up the meaning of Dianna’s sentence. Normally Lea would have just taken it at face value, a friendly statement but there was something behind the words that she couldn’t quite place. “Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to grab breakfast tomorrow before work. I know a really nice vegan friendly café near my place.”

Lea forgot that she’d been thinking about the blonde’s previous sentence and instead felt overwhelming happiness that she already had a friend in this job who wanted to spend time with her. She’d only moved out to LA a month ago and didn’t know many people and she’d been worried that she wouldn’t get on with the rest of the cast so not only was she glad to have got on so well with everyone but now she had what she knew was a great friend in the blonde in front of her.

“Sure that sounds awesome. What’s the name of the place?”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After only one day of rehearsals, Lea was already so tired she could barely move. After their breakfast that morning she had hardly seen the blonde all day until she stumbled through the door of their shared trailer and collapsed on the couch at one end.

“I am dead.” She groaned, burying her head under a pillow.

“I know what you mean. I don’t even think I can get home let alone get myself back here for another full day tomorrow.” They fell into a comfortable silence as Dianna massaged her legs, easing the aching in her muscles and Lea read through her lines for the next day. They’d known each other for only 24 hours and yet both of them felt completely comfortable in one another’s presence and could honestly swear they’d known each other their entire lives.

“Do you think we’ll get picked up?” Dianna asked, breaking the silence and looking over at Lea who thought for a moment before putting her script down.

“I can’t see why not. No one has done a show like this before, it’s original and fresh and full of singing and dancing.” She answered.

“Of course you think that singing and dancing will get us picked up, Child Star.” The blonde teased, ducking as Lea threw a pillow at her head. They knew practically everything about each other already; although it wasn’t surprising that Dianna knew about Lea’s Broadway background, she did tend to go around announcing it as often as possible.

Lea offered a fake glare at her for a while before she grinned, picking up her lines again and focusing herself again.

They were only silent for a few seconds before Dianna spoke again. “So…I was wondering if you could do me a huge favour this weekend?” Lea looked up at her, waiting for her to elaborate. “Could you help me look at some apartments? My lease on my current place is about to run out.”

Without a moment’s hesitation Lea answered. “Why don’t you just move in with me? I’m all alone in my house and I have an extra bedroom. It would make sense; we could even car pool to work.”

Just as quickly as Lea had proposed the idea, Dianna accepted. She jumped up from the sofa clapping her hands together in excitement. “Oh my god it will be so much fun. We can have movie nights.”

Lea watched, amused, as the blonde did a little dance around the trailer before catching her foot on the foot of the table that was screwed down to the floor. Dianna fell flat on her face.

“OK. Ow.” She groaned as she propped herself up on one elbow, rubbing her damaged face with the other.

“I might reconsider if you ever do that dance again, especially in the house.” She joked as she extended a hand to Dianna to pull her to her feet.

“Deal.” The blonde squealed as she pulled the smaller girl into a tight hug. “You are my hero.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dianna had moved in that very weekend.

Lea could safely say she had never been happier; she was living with her best friend and they were having an amazing time in the city. They would go for hikes together, cook meals together, throw parties for the rest of the cast and have all night movie nights which were always exclusively old movies.

They only had one week left of filming the pilot before they would stop and wait nervously for the network to make a decision on whether or not they would include it in their fall line up.

The first week of rehearsals and shooting had been absolute hell. In that week Dianna didn’t manage to unpack and neither of them managed to anything but sprawl on the couch and order take out when they got home from work in the evenings.

By the second week, despite still following the same hectic schedule, they had settled into a routine and were becoming used to the demands of the job. When they got home in the evenings they were able to actually cook a basic meal and sit down at the table and eat it, chatting about anything and everything.
By the third week they barely noticed the 6am starts or the late finishes; they managed to go out for dinner more frequently and threw their first fully fledged party. The weekend of the third week was also the first time they felt human enough to leave the house for an extended period of time that didn’t involve grocery shopping and they spent Saturday morning exploring Runyon before getting lunch and spending the entire afternoon shopping. The Sunday was spent visiting tiny art exhibits, particularly photography exhibits.

Lea had learnt in those three weeks that Dianna was probably the most artistic person she had ever met. The blonde had a serious collection of cameras, preferring film to digital and she would, on average, get through a roll of film a day. Lea had let her turn a spare walk in cupboard into a dark room and Dianna was slowly but surely teaching her the intricacies of developing her own photos. She had even let Lea try it herself but she’d messed up the balance of chemicals and instead the photo came out with a huge black line down the middle.

Dianna had also begun to introduce the brunette to a whole new world of music. Lea had even bought a record player and now insisted on buying everything in vinyl. They occasionally spent their evenings lying on the floor of their house playing record after record and simply listening.

That was exactly where they were at that moment; Lea at a 90 degree angle to the blonde, resting her head on Dianna’s stomach. The blonde’s fingers were tapping the beat on one of Lea’s outstretched arms.

“Di?” Lea asked quietly, not really wanting to interrupt the peaceful atmosphere.

“Hmm?” Dianna tilted her to one side, straining her eyes to look down at the smaller girl.

“If the pilot isn’t picked up, will we still be friends?” Lea’s head bobbed on Dianna’s stomach as the blonde laughed.

“Are you kidding? Of course we will. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” The brunette breathed a sigh of relief, glad in the knowledge that nothing would change if Glee didn’t make it into the fall line up.

“OK.”

They drifted back into silence, letting the music wash over them.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Little Steps 9/9

Title: Little Steps
Pairing: Lea/Dianna
Rating: PG-ish
Summary: Lea and Dianna struggle to come to terms with the implications of the rumours surrounding their friendship.
Disclaimer: Massive work of fiction.

A/N - I figured as I'd finished this already there was no point in delaying posting it. I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Thanks to those who have stuck with this. :D  I now have a big fic shaped void in my life and now no real reason to distract myself from work so I might have to start writing something else. Or do a sequel to this. Or both. 

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Lea didn’t manage to find Dianna before she was taken away to the second unit location. She knew that the blonde would probably try to avoid her when she eventually returned to base camp but she was finally thrown a bone when a Fox rep appeared during filming to request (or rather politely force) their presence at a studio party in the evening. Fox was trying to get a new deal with some big money making machine and needed as many cast members from as many shows as possible to be present to show the network’s success but Lea was too distracted to listen to the exact details. Dianna wouldn’t be able to avoid her if they were stuck in a venue all night.

After the Fox rep left, Lea began to form and implement a plan.

“Hey, I was thinking we should all meet at someone’s place tonight and then just take one car to the party? We can get some champagne going, have a girly night?” She had grabbed Amber and Jenna, desperate to get them on board. Luckily they had a day off the next day and as none of them had been out in a while, save the quiet meal they’d had the night before, they were all too keen to have a girly night with lots of champagne.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

They had managed to wrap the days filming fairly early that afternoon which gave Lea plenty of time to go home and pick out a killer outfit. The event was closed to the press tonight so she didn’t have to worry about looking good for the camera, just for Dianna.

The girls had all met at Amber’s that evening where they had already made their way through a few too many bottles of champagne and some awful cocktails that Naya had made, which she had christened ‘Party Kickstarters’.

Lea had got steadily drunker as the night went on, especially as every time she tried to talk to Dianna, the blonde would just say there was nothing to say and would then excuse herself and talk to someone else which was frustrating and would cause Lea to neck her drink every time. The only glimmer of hope that kept her going was that every so often she would catch Dianna’s eyes focused on her and the smaller girl could swear she could see something resembling longing in her eyes.

Dianna was still on the same glass of champagne that she had been handed when she first arrived at Amber’s. She wanted to drink, to block out everything but she was staying relatively sober partly because it was clear Lea was well on her way to being absolutely wrecked and someone needed to be able to look after her and also because she knew if she got drunk she would do something stupid and she couldn’t afford to do something stupid in front her boss and her boss’s boss and probably their bosses as well.

She watched Lea intently, wishing that she didn’t care so much about the diminutive brunette. The day hadn’t gone as planned; in fact it had managed to go in completely the opposite direction. The smaller girl had attempted to talk to her on several occasions now but Dianna didn’t need her to explain; whatever was going on between them wasn’t as serious to the brunette as it was to her. She moved over to the smaller girl.

“Maybe you should slow down a bit.” She whispered quietly in Lea’s ear, not wanting to embarrass her in front of everyone. The smaller girl turned towards her, stumbling slightly. She looked up at Dianna and bought a finger up to cover the blonde’s lips, preventing her from speaking anymore.

“You….are very pretty.” Lea slurred, trailing the finger down the taller girl’s neck and bringing it to a rest where bare flesh met the girl’s dress.

Maybe it was just sex that she wanted, Dianna thought to herself as she gently pulled Lea’s hand away from her chest.

“You’re drunk.”

Lea narrowed her eyes at the blonde. She respected the fact that she’d hurt Dianna by springing the whole Theo thing on her but treating her like this wasn’t fair. “Yes I am and last time I checked it wasn’t illegal so if you don’t mind I’m just going to continue with that.” She pushed past the taller girl and went to join Naya and Heather who were giggling as they made yet another batch of the lethal cocktails.

Dianna watched her walk away and sighed. This was going to be a horrendously long night.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When they arrived at the party, Lea could barely walk straight. Amber helped her out of the car and wrapped an arm around her, steadying her. Everyone was thankful that there wasn’t a press presence at the party.

Amber guided Lea over to some chairs towards the back of the courtyard, under the watchful eye of Ryan who had noticed their arrival.

“I think I might be drunk.” Lea commented as she waved her hand in front of her face. “Unless…….Amber do I have two hands on this arm?” She shoved her hand in front of Amber’s face who just laughed at her.

“You are an awesome drunk.”

“I am aren’t I? I’d totally be friends with drunk me.” She stared off into the distance, drifting off into thought about how cool it would be to be friends with the drunk version of herself. “If I was friends with drunk me, would I still be able to get drunk?”

Amber shook her head at the girl’s ramblings and then caught Dianna’s eye, silently signalling her to take over Lea-watch.

The brunette felt the sofa dip as the blonde sat down next to her. She looked over at Dianna, feeling all the fight she had inside her drain out; she didn’t want to continue this for much longer.

“You ok?” The blonde asked, her eyes full of concern.

“Very drunk. Either we’re on some sort of merry go round or the room is spinning.” Lea groaned, regretting the amount of cocktails and champagne she had consumed earlier.

“I’ll go get you some water, just stay put.” Dianna started to get up but was stopped by Lea called out her name. She turned and saw that the smaller girl looked close to tears. She sat down again, closing the gap slightly.

“Ryan wants me to keep seeing Theo but just in public. Like….to deflect stuff away from us. I just have to go out to eat with him a couple of times and talk about him in interviews. I’m still breaking up with him…. I don’t want to be with him. Ryan thinks if people know about us they’ll stop watching the show.” Lea trailed off, waiting for the blonde’s response.

Dianna sat in stunned silence; the brunette’s words had come from nowhere and she still wasn’t quite sure what Lea was trying to say by telling her all that. She was about to open her mouth to speak when she was interrupted.

“Oh hi. Fancy seeing you here.” The drawling English accent cut through the air and Dianna inwardly groaned when she realised that Alex was standing in front of them. “Lea, you look fabulous as usual.” He smirked, taking in the brunette’s dishevelled appearance.

“Prick.” Lea muttered. What was he even doing there? He had no ties to Fox as far as Lea could remember.

“Excuse me?” Alex asked incredulously, not used to people being so blunt with him.

“Oh I’m sorry, was I not clear? What I said was ‘Alex how lovely to see you again, you have made my night by being here and I just hope against hope that we can spend some more time together soon as I cannot get enough of your winning personality.’” The thick sarcasm in Lea’s voice caused Dianna to laugh, although she quickly attempted to cover it up with a cough.

Alex looked between the two of them, the self satisfied smile gone from his face. He decided not to waste any time talking to Lea which was fine by her.

“Dianna, there’s a guy here who wants to talk to us about Number Four. He says our chemistry was undeniable and wants to take advantage of it.”

Dianna sighed, the last thing she wanted to do was talk to some suited studio exec about her career but she knew that she had to, she couldn’t ignore him; it would cost her a future.

Alex put his hand out for Dianna’s but she refused to acknowledge it.

“I’ll be back in a minute.” The blonde whispered in Lea’s ear. The smaller girl looked at her, silently pleading with her to stay and not go off with the idiot in front of her but she also knew that Dianna had little choice in the matter.

Lea watched as they walked off together, Alex attempting to put his arm around Dianna’s waist. She laughed as the blonde swatted him away and moved away from him. Her eyes followed the duo as they came to a stop in front of a group of men; Alex again tried to put his arm around Dianna’s waist and Lea felt her heart sink as the blonde didn’t move away this time. Then again, they were trying to sell their ‘chemistry’.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lea sat and watched them for half an hour, thinking through what she was going to say to the blonde when she eventually returned to her. She went through the conversation about fives times but every version sounded ridiculous in her head.

Her attention was drawn back to the blonde when she saw the group of men move away from them and back into the crowd, presumably to make some other deal. Alex and Dianna stood talking to one another for a moment and Lea felt her blood begin to boil when she noticed how close boy was standing to her.

Summoning all her courage she got up shakily and strode towards the couple, desperately trying to come up with some sort of plan before she reached them. She came to a stop beside them.

“I need to talk to you.” Lea directed the words at Dianna who looked relieved to have a reason not to continue talking to the arrogant boy.

“Sure. Shall we…..” Dianna was half way through suggesting they move away from Alex to somewhere more private before she was interrupted.

“I love you.” Everyone, including Lea who had just spoken the words herself, fell into a stunned silence.

“I ….. you….. what?” Dianna stuttered, not quite believing what she had just heard. Lea stepped closer to her, emboldened by a new found confidence in her feelings and what she wanted.

“I love you.” She said again, more firmly this time, keeping her eyes locked on the blonde’s. They stared at each other for a moment; blocking out the rest of the world. Alex surveyed them for a moment before retreating, knowing that this was a fight he was never going to win.

Dianna was still stunned into silence but pulled the smaller girl closer to her, wrapping her arms around her waist. She had just heard everything she had been waiting for; everything she need to hear in three simple words. Lea loved her, this was real,; she didn’t want to be with anyone else but her.

“Does this not count as a public display of affection, the likes of which we were trying to avoid?” Lea asked, looking around the room as Dianna pulled her closer.

“Fuck them.” The blonde stated before pressing her lips into the smaller girls, sealing the promise of a future for their relationship.

THE END

Little Steps 8/9

Title: Little Steps
Pairing: Lea/Dianna
Rating: PG-ish
Summary: Lea and Dianna struggle to come to terms with the implications of the rumours surrounding their friendship.
Disclaimer: Massive work of fiction.

A/N - I completed this story this morning so it'll just be one more update after this. Definitely has a happy ending. Thanks for continuing to read :D

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When Lea had gone and Chris had returned to the table, Dianna took over the smaller girl’s vacated seat, settling back in next to Naya and Heather who were giggling over some ridiculous dance move the Latina was showing the blonde. They noticed the newest arrival to their space, just as they had noticed the sudden departure of Lea.

“Where’s diva fever gone? I thought you two were attached at the hip?” Naya joked, not noticing the blonde tense at the words.

“I don’t know. I’m not her keeper.” She responded quickly, injecting more venom into her tone than she had intended.

“Err…OK.” The Latina laughed, putting her hands up in a surrender gesture.

Dianna sighed, closing her eyes and dropping her head into her hands. She knew she had been out of line tonight but it was as if she had been watching herself mess up from afar, unable to control her own actions.

She knew she didn’t have any reason to be acting this way; Lea hadn’t tried to push her into anything, in fact in the last 24 hours she herself had been the one to push; finding Lea at the beach and confessing her own feelings, deciding not to conceal their relationship at work and even suggesting that the brunette address her as her girlfriend. Dianna knew she had done all these things because she had wanted to but for some reason she still felt as though it was all happening too quickly. In less than three days her entire life had changed and all of a sudden she found herself saying that Lea and she were meant to be together.

She wanted to be able to justify it by saying that she was just concerned that her feelings were merely a reaction to the possibility of losing her best friend but she knew that was a lie. In reality, it wasn’t the fact that it was happening too quickly and that she wasn’t sure of her own feelings, but the fact that it didn’t actually feel at all strange to be moving this quickly and that scared Dianna more than anything.

She’d had long term boyfriends before and she had loved them but there had always been a build up, a series of dates where they got to know one another and eased themselves into dating and being together. It felt as though her and Lea had kind of space jumped ahead of all of that.

More than anything Dianna knew that her hostility tonight was largely due to the fact that she had spent much of her adult life being fiercely independent, despite long term relationships, and she somewhat resented the fact that in a day Lea had managed to turn her into the complete opposite.

When she managed to reign in her thoughts and focus back on the table and her friends she realised that both Naya and Heather were staring at her expectantly.

“Huh?” She asked, knowing they must have been waiting for an answer to a question one of them had posed.

“I said, are you ok?” Heather asked, exaggerating every word. Dianna rolled her eyes but smiled.

“I’m fine. Just thinking.” She responded. She caught the knowing look between Heather and Naya.

“About Lea.” The dancer stated it as fact rather than asking a question.

“Hemo still owes me fifty bucks about that.” Naya grumbled, directing the words at Dianna but staring pointedly at Heather with a mock glare on her face.

Heather laughed when she saw the Latina’s face, she looked every inch the character she played. “You only won the bet today, I haven’t had the opportunity to go out and get your winnings from an ATM yet so calm yourself little one.” She patted the brunettes head affectionately and giggled when she received a firm jab to the ribs.

“You should just take her out for dinner this week as payment.” Dianna suggested casually. “Like a date.” She added, slightly quieter than before but still enough for Naya and Heather to hear.

Naya’s eyes snapped up to hers, her eyes wide with dismay and embarrassment. She would be having some seriously angry words with the blonde later.

“Sure why not.” When the words came out of Heather’s mouth, Naya’s head whipped round to face her. The brunette wanted to be pissed off at Dianna but then again Heather had just agreed to take her on a date so she wasn’t sure her anger would be warranted.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dianna stayed at the restaurant chatting with everyone until it closed and they were forced to leave. Kevin, Naya and Jenna wanted to continue the fun somewhere else but everyone else decided to call it a night, knowing that it would be yet another early start in the morning.

She said her goodbyes and made her way towards her car, struggling with the internal battle of whether or not to call Lea. She was quite frankly desperate to talk to her and apologise for her behaviour but at the same time she was still scared of her feelings and just wished she could put the brakes on everything whilst still keeping Lea happy and in her life.

The battle was lost before it had even really begun and she dialled Lea’s number as soon as she got into her car. The phone rang for a while before the line clicked and the brunette’s voice spilled into Dianna’s ear.

“Hi this is Lea. I can’t come to the phone right now but if you leave a message I’ll try to get back to you.”

She sighed and hung up before quickly dialling the number again. It went to the answer phone again but this time she waited until the beep and left a message.

“Hey. I’m sorry about tonight. I…..uh…..I don’t know. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She hung up and cursed herself for leaving such a pathetic message. She wanted to call back again and leave a better one but thought better of it, focusing instead on getting home.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lea had played Dianna’s message over and over again but each time she heard it she just got angrier and angrier. By the time she arrived at the Paramount studios the next morning she was silently fuming. The past few days had seen Lea being constantly hurt, even if in some cases it was merely a misunderstanding.

When she arrived at her trailer she was surprised to see Ryan already waiting for her. She had come to work much earlier than usual so the trailer was empty except for them.

“Good morning child star!” He smiled at her. “Have a seat.”

Lea was worried; Ryan hardly ever came to their trailers, especially after he had caught Cory having sex once and so she could only assume that he wanted to talk about something important. It didn’t take many guesses to figure out what. She sat down on a chair, placing her bag on the floor next to her.

“It’s come to my attention that you and Dianna might be…..taking your friendship to the next level lets say.” He looked at her, wanting her to confirm what he was saying so far. She nodded her head slowly in agreement, wondering where he was going with this. “Brilliant. You’ll make a lovely couple.”

He clapped his hands together happily, smiling enthusiastically at her.

But, we all know that the saying any press is good press is not necessarily true and I can’t help but feel that the press that we would get from this becoming public would cause somewhat of a backlash to the show.”

“Why?” Lea asked carefully, she didn’t want to piss him off.

“Well let’s put it this way, you and Dianna are two stunning girls; girls want to be you, guys want to be with you and therefore they need to know that even if you’re off the market, it’s still them you’re interested in.”

“Them as in boys.” Lea clarified. Ryan nodded his head in response.

“Right. If this thing with you and Dianna becomes public then guys all over the world think that you’re no longer interested in them and then the show loses some of its fan base.” He explained.

“Or they could be like, wow two ‘hot chicks’ getting it on, every guys wet dream.”

“Trust me on this Lea. There’s also the fact that Rachel and Quinn hate each other, having the actresses dating would damage that dynamic. And what if you two break up? The show doesn’t need that kind of negative press…. God knows we’ve already got it coming at us from all sides with the PTC. I know you don’t want to and I can truthfully say it does pain me to have to do this but we all have jobs at stake. Our jobs….all our jobs rely on the success of this show.” She watched his face and he did genuinely look pained but she still knew she wouldn’t like what he was going to say next.

“What do you want me to do?” She asked, she didn’t want to be the reason the show became a bust.

“Continue seeing Theo.” He put his hand out to silence Lea’s objection. “At least publicly. I’m not, in any way, saying that you can’t see Dianna anymore but I just ask that you do so privately. You need to be spotted with Theo, talk about him in interviews, you know the drill. I’ve been doing some research and there are a lot of people who believe that you and Dianna are a couple and have been for some time and with Dianna now publicly single they’ll be latching onto it even more so I need you to prove them wrong.”

They were silent for a minute as Lea absorbed all the information. She desperately wanted to stand up to the man in front of her and shout at him, tell him that she absolutely would not sell herself out like this just to benefit a television show but she also owed a lot to Ryan; he had put her on the map and he had done the same for Dianna. He had changed their lives and if she ignored his advice (which had never been wrong before) then she could well end up changing them again but for the worst.

“OK.” She said quietly, accepting her fate but making it clear that she wasn’t happy. Ryan could see that it was painful for her and he tried to comfort her.

“You’re doing the right thing.” He said, equally as quietly as she had been. He smiled for a moment before leaving the trailer.

Once he was gone Lea let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. She could quite confidently say that the last 12 hours had been some of the worst of her life.

Closing her eyes she summoned all her strength and will power before dialling Theo’s number.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dianna arrived at work the next morning bleary eye and groggy; she had barely managed to get any sleep the night before because she couldn’t get her brain to turn off and stop thinking about everything, over analyzing every little detail of the past couple of days.

The only benefit of having spent the entire night lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking was that she had come to the conclusion that she needed to talk to Lea. She was sure that if she was just open and honest about the fact that her own feelings were scaring her half to death then the smaller girl would understand. Dianna hadn’t wanted to push her away.

The set was already bustling with activity and she kept getting distracted by saying hello to various crew members. She passed Chris who was leaning against a wall talking on his phone, he watched her as she walked by, keeping his expression neutral but his eyes betrayed his suspicion of her.

Lea and Chris were close so she knew that they must have discussed yesterdays events already and in a way she was glad to see that he had her back, even though it did mean that he disliked her at this point in time, something which Dianna hated. She offered the younger boy a weak smile and sped up to get to her trailer.

Surprisingly, Heather and Naya were nowhere to be seen when she arrived. They usually spent all their time lounging around in the trailer, reading magazines and eating a bizarrely constant amount of fruit. Dianna looked around the trailer, searching for signs of life; she noticed Lea’s bag tucked under the table so she knew the other girl was already on set although this didn’t come as much of a surprise to her.

She dumped her bag on the chair in front of her, discarding her coat as well, and quickly exited the trailer again, heading towards the group of trailers that served as the make up and costume area. The set was huge and Lea could be anywhere but she guessed that as it was still fairly early in the morning and they weren’t scheduled to shoot for another hour and a half that the smaller girl would probably be somewhere in make up and costume.

Dianna’s hunch had been right.

She bounded up the steps to the make up trailer, only to have the door flung open and hit her square in the face. The force made her step backwards and her foot slipped on the narrow metal stairs causing her to fall and land with a loud thud on the concrete.

“Shit. Are you alright?”

Dianna frowned at the pain as she opened her eyes; she was pretty sure that the impact of the door on her face was going to leave a mark that even the expert make up crew would have trouble covering. She took a moment to take in her surroundings; she was lying on her back on the concrete with Lea was hovering anxiously above her.

“Oh thank god. You’re alive.”

“Unfortunately, despite your best efforts, it will take more than a door to the face to kill me.” She noticed that the brunette suddenly looked even more panicked and shocked at the blonde’s words. “Breathe, Lea, I was joking. Unless of course you were trying to kill me in which case my previous statement still stands.”

“I didn’t mean to.” The smaller girl said quietly, extending a hand to help Dianna back to her feet.

“It’s fine. Who doesn’t want their Thursday to start like that?” The blonde took the offered hand and gingerly managed to get back to an upright position. She prodded at her face; feeling for the sensitive areas that she imagined would already be bruising. She winced as she touched a particularly sore patch above her right eyebrow.

“Are you OK?” Lea asked, worried that she may have permanently damaged the blonde in some way.

“It’s nothing some painkillers won’t fix.” Dianna tried to keep her voice light despite the pain shooting through her head. She needed to start repairing the damage she had caused last night. “I need to talk to you”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Oh, well … you want to go first?” Dianna was hoping that Lea was going to provide some sort of opening for what she wanted to say.

“Theo’s coming this weekend.” Lea said simply, averting her eyes from the blonde’s, not really wanting to find out what she might see in them. Dianna studied her face for a while, knowing that something wasn’t quite right.

“To….break up with him right?” She asked, keeping her eyes glued to the smaller girl, searching her face for a reaction. Lea pulled her eyes up to meet the blonde’s.

“Not exactly.” Dianna felt like the wind had been knocked out of her and she took an involuntary step backwards.

“Oh.”

Lea stood staring at the blonde, now utterly confused. Last night Dianna had acted like she wanted nothing to do with her and now she was visibly upset about the fact that Theo was still in her life. She had absolutely no idea what was going on in Dianna’s head. She knew she should probably just walk away and leave the blonde to figure things out in her own time but her legs weren’t working.

Lea reached for Dianna’s hand, she knew she should have explained the real reason why Theo was coming this weekend but she had to admit she’d wanted to see whether the blonde would get jealous. Unfortunately she had gotten more of a reaction than she bargained for, as Dianna turned and fled.

As Dianna left Lea standing staring after her outside the make up trailer she realised that she had left it too late to correct the mistakes she’d made last night. She was out of second chances with the brunette. The thought made her deflate.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lea had to restrain herself from running after the blonde. She couldn’t believe that she kept being put in this position; it seemed like it was one step forward and two steps back. Her heart was screaming at her to go to her, explain everything and let her say whatever it was she wanted to say, to give her another chance but her head was telling her that maybe she should back off, let it run its course and keep herself from getting hurt.

She honestly didn’t know which one to listen to and decided that she would shut them both out for the time being and focus instead on work. She had always been good at being able to let work completely take over her.

Thankfully she wouldn’t have to test which of her two options would win as Dianna was schedule to shoot with the second unit in Long Beach that day whilst she herself was going to be spending the day on the newly built auditorium set.

She arrived at wardrobe and was half way through changing into a customary Rachel Berry animal sweater when Naya emerged through a rack of coats.

“Hey there RuPaul.” She greeted the smaller girl, borrowing the nickname from the show.

Lea did her best mock glare before smiling at the newly arrived girl. “Were you hiding in a bunch of coats?”

“Some call it hiding, others call in lying in wait.”

“I think you should go with hiding….. it sounds less creepy.”

Naya shrugged as she rearranged the coat rack she’d just come through. When she was happy that it looked neater she turned back to the smaller girl.

“Where did you run off to last night?” She asked, eyeing the brunette suspiciously, anticipating a non-committal answer knowing that Lea wouldn’t tell her the real reason without some pushing.

Lea puffed out some air, reaching her hand up to rub the back of her neck not wanting to go into details over what had happened last night. She felt like an idiot enough already without admitting to people that she had quite simply been rejected by her best friend who had previously made a point of tracking her down and confessing her feelings for her.

“I…..” She was stopped by Naya raising a warning finger to her face.

“No lies.” The words out of the Latina’s mouth did not feel threatening or rude but actually comforting; she was concerned for her friend and knew she couldn’t help her unless she knew all the details.

“Dianna mentioned the world ‘girlfriend’ and then just like that” She clicked her fingers together to emphasise her point “she was ignoring me. It’s like one minute she’s hot and then she’s cold. I don’t even know if she genuinely feels the same way or whether she was just scared she was going to lose her best friend so she just kind of went along with it and is now regretting it.”

They were silent for a while as Naya weighed up the information in her mind. She knew that Dianna was pretty much head over heels for the small girl in front of her.

“She’s scared.” The words came out before she even realised that she’d come to a conclusion about what to say. Lea raised her eyebrows, silently asking her to elaborate. The Latina rolled her eyes. “Oh come on, you’ve met Dianna right? That girl is like super shy and you really, really aren’t, no offense. You’re cool with this whole ‘you and her’ thing, you’ve been able to just slip comfortably into it but she’s freaking out, she can’t do it as easily as you; right now I bet she’s having some sort of internal debate and weighing up all the options, pros and cons and whatever.”

“But….”

“Hey, I’m not done! I think partly she might be scared that the fact that you’re not freaking out about this means that you couldn’t give a shit either way.” She put her hand up to stop the smaller girl who was about to interrupt her. “Yes, I know that’s not true but does she? Have you explicitly told her how much you care?”

Lea thought for a moment; she hadn’t. She’d let it slip about her feelings the night she tracked Dianna down to her house but even then she hadn’t unequivocally stated that she wanted to be with the blonde. She slapped a hand to her forehead; by telling Dianna about Theo without explaining exactly why he was coming this weekend she had clearly cemented the idea that she didn’t really care in the blonde’s mind.

“Shit.” Lea whispered to herself as she realised what her actions must look like to Dianna. She quickly pulled on the rest of her costume, grabbing the accessories out of the drawer labelled ‘Rachel’, much to the distress of the costume assistant who was wincing each time she grabbed a new item, hoping that the brunette wouldn’t destroy the costume pieces.

“Where are you going?” Naya asked as she watched Lea frantically get herself made up as Rachel.

“I’ve got to talk to her.” She replied quickly before rushing out of the trailer.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

I'll probably update tomorrow with the final chapter, or tonight. Or maybe now. I'm not sure really.

Little Steps 7/?

Title: Little Steps
Pairing: Lea/Dianna
Rating: PG-ish
Summary: Lea and Dianna struggle to come to terms with the implications of the rumours surrounding their friendship.
Disclaimer: Massive work of fiction. 

A/N - I wasn't particularly happy with the way the last chapter turned out, I think possibly because I just felt that it was all a bit rushed, like realistically I don't think I, myself, could have gone so easily from being friends to being in a relationship with my best friend so I think it felt weird to see it in my writing. That being said, I'm still hoping to continue much of the happy stuff but it will deal with the transition from friends to girlfriends rather than just going straight for it as the last chapter kind of suggested it would be.

A/N - Timing wise - it's technically set now but if it reads to people as a different time then that's completely cool. It's subjective I guess so read it as though it were in whatever time period you want. :D

A/N - Once again thanks for the reviews. If you don't think I should be taking the route I'm now gonna take or think that maybe there's something missing in this chapter that maybe you'd like to see in the next one then just let me know. 

Anyway, enough rambling. This is a pretty long chapter but I just couldn't find anywhere appropriate to end it that wasn't at the end of the chapter if you get what I mean. Stopping half way through this wouldn't have worked I don't think.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Lea had spent the better part of the afternoon on set, watching Cory and Mark as Finn and Puck at each other’s throats. Her input in the scene was minimal; in fact all she was required to do was to act shocked at the sight in front of her. In theory the scene, which would amount to less than three minutes of screen time should have only taken a couple of hours to perfect (especially given that Mark and Cory had spent most their downtime between takes that morning rehearsing the fight). However, she was now entering the fourth hour that she had had to stand and watch the two boys throw each other around and fake punches at each other’s faces. Whilst at first it had been amusing, it was now plain boring.

“CUT!” Ian’s voice cut through the relative silence of the set. Mark looked up expectantly from his position on the floor, it was clear he wanted to be finished just as much as Lea did. “Mark, you’ve really gotta look like you’re getting your ass kicked.”

“I’m trying but….surely it wouldn’t be that easy. Puck is a pretty tough guy.” Like the entire cast, Mark hated it when he thought that the writers were portraying his character differently to how he saw him. They had spent two years embodying these characters, becoming them, learning their traits and the way they acted; they built up back stories to them and yet the writers would still turn around and throw something at them that was completely out of character.

Mark had now had two instances this season that were out of character in his opinion; the first was his obsession with Lauren Zizes and the second was the fact that Finn, the rather useless quarterback, was now beating him senseless in the school corridor. It didn’t fit. And more importantly it didn’t feel right. Even Lea had to admit that it was strange to see Puck get beaten up by Finn.

“Right, but he’s got pure rage on his side. The adrenaline is really going, he’s untouchable.”

Lea caught Cory mockingly kissing his ‘guns’ and laughed.

“Look guys I’m sorry this is taking so long but this scene is important and it needs to look at though Finn, the normally quite restrained, dopey” This earned a ‘hey!’ from Cory in protest. “awkward kid has finally snapped and is just going to town. OK?”

Mark reluctantly nodded.

“OK. Resetting.”

Lea groaned as she shuffled back to her position against the locker to watch a fight in ‘shock’ that she had currently seen around thirty times already.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Mark and Cory had only need two more takes after that to nail the scene; unfortunately the reason the final take looked so realistic is because Cory accidently caught Mark in a rather forceful uppercut that sent the smaller man sprawling.

As soon as she had wrapped everything she needed to, Lea sprinted off in the direction of the trailers. She hadn’t seen Dianna since lunch which on a normal day would be weird enough but felt even weirder after everything they’d said and done the day before.

She slowed down her pace when she approached their shared trailer. She had suddenly started evaluating everything she did in case it appeared too full on, she didn’t want to scare Dianna away by being the crazy best friend turned whatever they were now who was a little bit too keen.

As she opened the door her heart sank. Standing straight in front of her, leaning arrogantly against the table in the centre of the trailer was Alex Pettyfer. Lea knew that Dianna had been seeing him after they shot I Am Number Four together but given that she hadn’t heard anything about him recently from the blonde she’d assumed it had fizzled out. Apparently not.

His eyes drifted lazily over to her, a smirk playing on his lips. He never had liked her and he’d made it fairly obvious whenever he’d visited the set.

“Oh hi Lea.” His tone of voice was almost sickly in its faked sweetness. It was followed mere seconds later by Dianna’s face popping round the corner, her eyes widening.

“LEA!” She exclaimed, moving towards the smaller girl whilst Alex lounged in the background, surveying the situation.

The brunette took a step backwards on the step, stumbling slightly in the confusion that was swirling around her head. “I…uh…. Sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’ll….I’ll just go.” She pulled the door closed and raced back towards set before Dianna could stop her.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dianna sighed with relief when she walked into the Schuester apartment set to find Lea curled up in an armchair, reading a book with an almost serene expression on her face. She was glad the brunette hadn’t disappeared to the beach this time nor was hitting the vodka.

“Hey.” She called out tentatively, easing herself into the armchair next to the smaller girl.

Lea looked up at her and smiled, but the smile seemed to be lacking any real emotion and simply portrayed a general air of indifference. “Hi. I wasn’t needed on set so I thought I’d come and read. This book is pretty good.” She said, brandishing Kazuo Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go. Dianna had lent the book to her a while ago but knew that the brunette hadn’t got round to reading it, until now.

“Are we ok?” She asked nervously. Lea was acting as though nothing was wrong, and given what had happened earlier it made the blonde worry that she just generally didn’t care that much.

Lea looked up at her with confusion which, although Dianna didn’t know this, was all part of the illusion she had carefully constructed so as not to allow the blonde to see how hurt she was. “Sure.” She answered, shrugging her shoulders.

Dianna could see she was purposefully avoiding talking about Alex so she decided to go for it instead. “Look, about earlier. It’s not…..”

“No it’s fine. We never defined this…” She gestured between the two of them. “so I can’t really expect you not to see him….or other people.” She returned her eyes back to the book and silence overtook the room.

“Alex and I broke up a while ago, Lea.” Dianna said quietly, trying to peer over the edge of the book and catch the brunette’s eye.

Lea was silent for a while, weighing up the new information in her mind. She carefully closed her book, not bothering to mark her page as if truth be told she had been reading the same page over and over again for the last half hour. She looked up and met hazel orbs which were filled with an almost desperate sadness.

“You did?” Lea responded, equally as quietly. The set was empty and silent and it felt weird to be having this conversation in anything above a whisper.

Dianna reached a hand out and took the brunettes, gently running her thumb over the back of her hand.

“Yeah, we did.” She confirmed, smiling into the brown eyes in front of her.

“OK. That’s good.” Lea replied. She couldn’t think of anything better to say although silently wished she could say something grand and meaningful. “How come he was here then?” It’s not that she didn’t trust the blonde’s words but she was still cautious.

Dianna sighed, using her free hand to push a stray piece of hair back behind her ear. “He called me earlier, he’s been trying to meet up for a couple of days now so I thought I should see what he wanted. Turns out he wanted to persuade me that we should make another go of it, that we are perfect for each other and meant to be together. ”

“Sounds convincing.” Lea stated, her previous happiness beginning to subside again. She wasn’t sure why she felt so certain that Dianna would happily drop her in a second for someone else.

“Yeah except that he said we were perfect for each other because we were, and I quote, ‘two of the hottest people in Hollywood and are a money making machine’. Needless to say that didn’t win me over.” She smiled as she heard the brunette laugh.

“He’s a keeper. Why wouldn’t you want all that romance?” Lea laughed, feeling much better about the situation. It wasn’t Alex’s fault, he was young and had the world at his feet, it was natural that he’d want one of Hollywood’s hottest actresses on his arm to top it off.

Lea was about to open her mouth to speak again but was silenced by the feeling of Dianna’s lips on her own. She closed her eyes, relishing the feeling and the taste of the blonde’s strawberry gloss covered lips. The blonde didn’t deepen the kiss but instead pulled away slightly, keeping her lips just shy of the brunette’s mouth.

“That’s why.” She whispered against them, capturing the girl’s lips again.

When they pulled apart Lea was breathless and a little giddy. “Why what?” She asked, the memory of the previous conversation completely erased from her mind.

“That’s why I don’t want all that ‘romance’.”

“Cos of our showmance.” Lea giggled. She knew the term wasn’t strictly applicable to their situation; they weren’t doing it for the benefit of the show but the show had bought them together and she liked the word so she had decided to use it.

Dianna’s smile dropped slightly but her eyes still sparkled with humour. “And once again you manage to ruin the moment.”

“Oops sorry.”

“No your not.”

“You’re right. I’m not.”

They laughed, revelling in the fact that it felt so easy and natural to be together. Just as they both leaned in for another kiss they heard the scuffle of feet and whipped their heads around to see Kevin and Amber attempting to sneak away. They realised they had been noticed and turned back towards the two girls, sheepish expressions of their faces.

“Sorry, we didn’t mean to interrupt anything.” Kevin offered, facing his palms upwards in a guilty shrug.

“We weren’t….”

“You didn’t…..”

Dianna and Lea both spoke at the same time, flustered by being caught despite the fact that they’d both agreed to be open about the developments in their relationship.

“Ha! Yeah right!” Amber laughed. “You two were getting your mack on.”

“When aren’t they?” Kevin grinned at them. Both Dianna and Lea were taken aback by this.

“Wait. What? No, not always! Just the last 24 hours.” Lea protested, pushing herself into a more upright position.

“Really? I totally thought you two were always getting it on, you spend an abnormal amount of time together.” He replied, looking genuinely confused and surprised.

“Yeah I figured that was going on as well. So you two really haven’t been, you know….all this time?”

“NO!”

“Huh. Who’dda thunk it?” Kevin seemed to have drifted off into thought. He had genuinely spent the last few months thinking that Lea and Dianna were together and constantly sneaking off with each other but apparently he had been wrong.

“But anyway, you are both needed on set right now.” Amber reached forward, grabbing Lea’s hand and pulling her to a standing position. Dianna followed and the foursome made their way from the Schuester apartment towards the choir room set where the rest of the cast and crew were already gathered.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The rest of the afternoon and early evening went painfully slowly, Harry couldn’t get his lines right and Dianna kept being picked up for staring at Lea the entire time they would shoot a scene.

“It’s just not realistic.” Ian griped as they once again had to cut and reset the scene after the camera panned to Dianna who was smiling furiously at Lea.

After that Dianna had simply kept her eyes averted from the smaller girl and they’d eventually managed to finish the scene.

“Hey, everyone’s going out to eat, you coming?”

Lea hadn’t noticed Naya sidle up to her in the parking lot, she had been concentrating on watching Dianna talk furiously on the phone as she leaned against her car. The blonde looked as though she’d rather be doing anything but having the conversation and Lea had a sneaking suspicion that it was Alex on the other line.

She pulled her eyes away from Dianna and focused her attention on the girl next to her.

“Eating. Yes. I should wait for Di though.”

“Wait for me for what?” The blonde had finished the call and approached the pair without either of them noticing.

“Dinner with errrbody.” Naya grinned, patting her stomach. “Fooood.”

Dianna lazily wrapped her arm around Lea’s waist, pulling the smaller girl closer to her. She was about to agree with the taller brunette’s suggestion but was interrupted by the sound of Lea’s phone ringing; ever since they had filmed 'Silly Little Love Songs' the brunette had been obsessed with Katy Perry’s Firework and had decided to change her ringtone to it.

Lea dug through her handbag, searching for her phone. The one problem of having a handbag that was big enough to fit her laptop in was that it was also big enough for her iPhone to get completely lost.

When she eventually found it she took a second to look at the caller ID before her free hand flew to her mouth, covering it in shock and disbelief.

“Oh my god. THEO!” She exclaimed. She had completely forgotten about him in the last few days with everything that had been going on with Dianna.

Naya smirked, realising that the brunette in front of her had managed to forget the fact that she had a boyfriend across the country. She’d actually assumed that Theo and Lea had broken up but clearly the smaller girl had just pushed him out of her mind in favour of Dianna, who at that moment was looking at Lea with raised eyebrows, not really sure she could believe what was happening.

Lea cancelled the call; she had no idea what to say to him.

“You forgot your own boyfriend?” Both Lea and Dianna winced at the word when Naya said it.

“Well, in my defence I’m pretty sure he forgot about me to. The only reason he may have slipped my mind is because I haven’t heard from him in about a week.”

“Wow. Great relationship you got yourself there.” Naya laughed sarcastically.

“What are you going to do?” Dianna asked.

Lea noticed the hesitation in the blonde’s voice and the fact that the previous grip on her waist had loosened significantly and the touch was now barely there.

“End it.” The brunette responded simply. It was a bit of a no brainer really; her relationship with Theo had fizzled out months ago but neither of them had really wanted to bring up the conversation of ending it. Generally their relationship had mostly been a combination of force of habit and comfort recently; it was nice to be able to call someone up when she was feeling down but it felt more like a sibling relationship at the moment.

It had also been extremely useful to be able to use Theo to deflect rumours about her alleged relationships with co-stars but she knew what she wanted now and it definitely wasn’t a long distance boyfriend.

“Do you think text message is too harsh?” Lea joked, trying to lighten the mood. Dianna grinned and the brunette was relieved to feel the arm around her waist tighten its grip as she was pulled into the side of the blonde.

“I think an email would work better.” Dianna laughed back, placing a light kiss on the smaller girl’s forehead. Naya cleared her throat and they both looked up to see Ryan staring at them from across the lot. He shook his head and looked away but Lea could have sworn she saw a small smile playing on his face.

“OK, now that we’re done with this little discussion can we please go and eat because I am starving. My body was not meant to go for such long periods without food.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lea surveyed the table she was sat at with happiness. As a cast they had always used to go out for dinner together and hang out together but recently they had become quite divided; they were all still the best of friends and had a blast on set but at the weekends or when they had any rare breaks in filming they tended to hang out in smaller groups. It was nice to see everyone together again, laughing and happy despite the long days they had at the moment.

“What are you thinking about?” Dianna asked, shuffling closer to the brunette as she eyed the broad smile on the girl’s face.

“Friendship.” She replied, pulling her eyes away from the smiling faces of her cast mates and focusing them on the hazel orbs beside her. “Do you find it weird how easy it was for us to go from friends to being more than that?” She was careful not to apply a label to their relationship just yet; they hadn’t talked about defining what they were and Lea didn’t want Dianna to feel that she was being pressured into becoming something she wasn’t ready for yet. She already thought she’d pushed the conversation too far, they’d only really been together a day.

The blonde reached a hand forward, brushing a stray piece of brown hair behind the smaller girl's ear, allowing the movement to bring her closer to Lea and place a gentle but firm kiss on her mouth.

“I think it shows that this is real. The fact that it isn’t weird means that it was meant to be.” Dianna inwardly cringed at her use of words; she hated sounding like a cliché. Lea didn’t seem to mind though and was beaming at her.

“You’re right. I’m just thinking about what other people must think. It must look so sudden to go from being friends one day to er….this the next day.” She again struggled to find a term to apply to their relationship but this time Dianna noticed.

“Would it be easier for you to be able to call me your girlfriend?” She whispered in the brunette’s ear, her proximity and words causing Lea to swallow hard. Without waiting for a reply she leant back, putting a bit of distance between them. “Kevin and Amber clearly already thought we were together so I doubt anyone thinks it’s odd.”

The blonde girl shrugged her shoulders and then immediately turned to her left, pushing herself into the heated debate that was happening between Harry and Kevin about which singers were the best dancers.

Lea sat and stared at the back of Dianna’s head for what felt like a full five minutes as she thought over the interaction that they’d just shared. The taller girl had just done a complete 180, quite clearly backtracking significantly from her ‘girlfriend’ comment. She was sure that if Dianna could erase the conversation, she would.

Lea waited for Dianna to turn around again and start talking to her like she had been before but the blonde remained turned away from her, appearing to be engaged in the conversation she was having. Sighing, Lea pushed her chair out from the table and made her way to the bathroom, unaware of the hazel eyes that followed her.

When Lea returned to the table, Dianna had swapped seats with Chord and was huddled in an animated conversation with Amber and Jenna who both broke into raucous laughter seemingly every time the blonde opened her mouth. The smaller girl frowned and dropped herself back into her seat.

“Hello little munchkin.” Chord said happily as he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into a hug.

“Hey.” She replied weakly, her eyes still focused on Dianna.

“What’s up? You look sad.” He released her from the hug but kept his arm wrapped around her in a comforting act. She pulled her eyes from the blonde and attempted to feign a smile at the boy in front of her.

“I’m just tired, too much dancing today. I think I might just head home and get some rest.”

“Oh I know what you mean; some days I can’t move I’m so tired.” He smiled at her and finally pulled his arm back towards himself, allowing her to stand up and collect her bag. They’d finished the meal a while ago so Lea left a handful of notes on the table, enough to cover her meal and drinks.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said, directing it solely at Chord before turning to the table and catching their attention. “I’m off home guys, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

There was a collective ‘bye’ and the odd ‘love you’ but Lea noticed that Dianna kept her gaze averted and on the table the entire time. She rolled her eyes; the whole situation was just ridiculous.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Little Steps 6/?

Title: Little Steps 6/?
Rating: PG
Pairing: Lea/Diana side Heather/Naya
Summary: Lea and Dianna struggle to come to terms with the implications of the rumours surrounding their friendship.
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction 

A/N - This is just a bit of a filler chapter just to keep things going. There's some drama to coming up but I had to set the scene first..... so this is the calm before the storm so to speak. It won't be too dramatic though, they will be happy!

A/N 2 - Thanks for all your continued reviews and reading, it means a lot to me that you're enjoying this. If you have any criticisms then feel free to let me know.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

“Morning!” Lea called out to Dianna as she skipped down the steps of her porch towards the waiting girl who looked less than pleased to be awake at this time.

The smaller girl tipped herself upwards and placed a gentle kiss on the blonde’s lips, laughing to herself when she saw Dianna desperately try not to smile and keep the unimpressed ‘I should not be awake yet’ scowl on her face.

“I will never understand why you are such a morning person.”

“How can you not be a morning person? The sun is shining, we’re young and healthy! Life is beautiful!” Lea opened her arms wide and spun around before stopping and grinning at the still scowling blonde.

“Are you high?” She asked incredulously as the brunette continued to grin at her.

“Are you?”

“OK. Enough. In the car you little weirdo.”

Dianna pulled open the door of her car and gestured for Lea to get in, a smile forming on her face as the smaller girl stuck her tongue out before moving past her and slipping into the seat on the passengers side. The blonde was quick to move around the car and climb in as well, turning the keys in the ignition and pulling away from Lea’s house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they arrived at the car park there were only a few other cars in the lot presumably belonging to early morning surfers and dog walkers. They sat in silence in the car for a while before Lea began to speak quietly.

“What are we going to do at work? Continue with life as usual or……..”

Dianna could hear the nervousness in Lea’s voice; it seemed as though they both shared the same fear that last night had been a one off and after a night of thinking about it the other girl would decide that actually it wasn’t what they wanted.

The blonde leaned over in the car, adjusting her seat belt to allow her more freedom of movement, and pressed her lips firmly into the brunettes. Lea’s lips parted almost immediately allowing Dianna’s tongue access. The blonde moaned at the sensation and deepened the kiss, fisting her hand into the brunette’s hair. They eventually pulled apart, both slightly breathless.

“I don’t think I can last the day without doing that again so I think that answers it.”

Her heart soared at the expression of sheer joy that erupted on Lea’s face. She prided herself on the fact that she’d always had an ability to make people laugh and smile and she was more than used to being the cause of Lea’s smiling but she didn’t think she’d even seen the brunette as happy as she was now. The fact that she was the reason for this happiness was a concept she was more than happy to get used to.

The brunette’s eyes drifted towards the clock on the dashboard and suddenly she tensed. “Oh crap. We’ve got to go.”

Without another word she pushed open the car door, climbing out and slamming the door shut and sprinting over to her car. Dianna looked at her clock and realised that they only had 20 minutes to make it back to set in time for their call.

“I’ll see you there then?” She called to the brunette as she rolled down the window. Lea waved her hand behind her in answer before jumping into her car, slamming it into reverse as soon as the engine roared to life and pulling past Dianna’s car, blowing a kiss out of the window accompanied by her trademark grin.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When Dianna arrived at the Paramount lot it was clear that Lea had already abandoned her car in favour of making it to set on time. The brunette was probably the most professional person she had ever met and had a severe complex about being anywhere late and giving off the wrong impression. She wondered whether this had been exacerbated by the fact that Lea was constantly being labelled a ‘diva’ in tabloids and was desperate to dispel the rumours about how difficult she was to work with. Dianna often found herself wishing that she could invite the entire press to secretly watch a day on the set and see how Lea really behaved but at the end of the day she recognised the fact that stories about her being a diva were likely to sell more than the truth.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When she arrived at the trailer she was greeted by a suspicious looking Naya, standing on the steps, blocking her path.

“Something’s up.” She said, narrowing her eyes at Dianna as if trying to read her mind.

“It’s too early in the morning for code.” The blonde explained, suddenly realising that she hadn’t had her morning coffee that Lea usually bought to her and she was already starting to feel on edge.

“Well, Lea was unnaturally happy this morning. And before you say anything I know she’s normally unnaturally happy compared to us but I mean this was a whole new level for her.” Dianna couldn’t help but smile and this action was greeted by a rather forceful smack on the arm from the Latina in front of her. “Oh my god, you two totally got it on!”

Before Dianna could stop her, Naya had leaned back into the trailer and called out to Heather. “Hemo! She did it. You owe me $50!” Heather appeared at the door with an excited expression on her face as she clapped her hands in a way that made Dianna wonder how much difference there was between Brittany and Heather.

“What happened? I want all the details!” Heather reached past Naya and grabbed Dianna’s hand, pulling her into the trailer and directing her towards the couch at one end.

“Er, where is Lea by the way?” The blonde asked looking around the empty trailer. She couldn’t have arrived more than 5 minutes after Lea had but she was nowhere to be seen despite the fact that both Naya and Heather must have seen her at some point in the last 10 minutes.

“Make up. But that’s irrelevant. Tell us.” Naya and Heather were sitting crossed legged on the floor, both of them had their chins propped in their hands like eager school children during story time.

Dianna groaned, not wanting to have this conversation but knowing that neither girl in front of her would leave her alone until she’d told them at least something.

“Whenever you’re ready.” Naya grinned, gesturing for Dianna to begin.

“Fine! We talked. We’re seeing how it goes. Can I please go now? I’m late enough as it is.” Without waiting for a reply from the girls she stood up and made her way towards the door of the trailer.

“Oh boo you whore, that’s boring!” Naya called after her, swivelling round and glaring at the blonde as she left the trailer.

Stopping on the top step Dianna couldn’t resist the opportunity to have the last word. “Yeah well go make your own gossip.” She looked pointedly at Naya and then at Heather who stared back at her with a blank expression before glancing at Naya, her face taking on a look of confusion. Dianna didn’t need to stick around to know that the Latina had gone bright red.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dianna and Lea didn’t get to see each other again until everyone arrived at the choir room set to rehearse the scene they were going to shoot that day. Lea had to be rushed straight from make up to re-record some vocals for an upcoming track and by the time Dianna had arrived at the make up trailer she had already left for the studio.

“Hi there.” The taller girl whispered into Lea’s ear as she eased into a chair behind her on the risers.

“I bought you a present.” The smaller girl grinned as she twisted in her seat to face the blonde. She seemed to pull a coffee out of nowhere and handed it to Dianna, beaming at her as she saw the blonde’s face light up.

“Caffeine!” Dianna exclaimed, excitedly, gulping down the hot liquid and then immediately regretting it as she felt the familiar feeling of her tongue burning. “Ow.”

“Well that’ll teach you to not drink your present before thanking the wonderful and amazing individual who went out of her way to get it.” Lea plastered a smug smile on her face.

“I was going to say thank you but I got slightly distracted by burning my mouth.”
“Oh I’m sure.” She smiled at the glare that the blonde shot her, still wafting her hand in front of her mouth trying to cool down her burnt tongue whilst simultaneously trying to blow on the hot liquid to cool it down.

Dianna sipped tentatively on the coffee again and sighed with content as the now cooler liquid slid down her throat and the caffeine began to work its magic.

“Thank you so much for this.” She gestured at the coffee in her hands. “I was beginning to go crazy.”

Dianna instinctively leaned forward, intending to capture the brunette’s lips in her own but was stopped when Lea pulled away, shaking her head, her eyes widening as she tried to tell her ‘no’ without words. The brunette jerked her head towards the centre of the room where Ryan Murphy was leaning against the piano riffling through a large pile of papers, muttering to himself angrily.

“He’s on a bit of a rampage. He keeps shouting about people being more interested in who is fucking than the show itself.” Lea explained, answering the confused expression on the blonde’s face.

“You think it’s…..” She trailed off, gesturing between the two of them to indicate she was talking about them and the recent developments in the intensity of the rumours surrounding their relationship.

Lea glanced over again at Ryan who was now gesticulating wildly in their general direction whilst Brad leaned nonchalantly on the piano next to him looking exceptionally bored. “I’d say it’s a given.”

“What do we do?” Dianna asked nervously, surveying the situation before her, wringing her hands together.

She knew that Ryan had a tendency to get overworked about certain issues; Glee was his baby and the fact that people had begun to talk more about the relationships within the cast rather than the show itself was obviously getting to him.

“We don’t give him any reason to be even angrier.” Lea shrugged her shoulders as she spoke.

She didn’t like it but it was better to keep their blossoming relationship under wraps rather than risk both of them getting fired. Ryan had fired people from the show for much less and frequently made the point of letting them all know that they were not irreplaceable which is probably how he got away with running them into the ground day in, day out with the gruelling schedule.

“So much for being open about it.” Dianna grumbled. She hadn’t been planning on declaring her feelings for the brunette from the rooftops anytime soon but the principle that she could no longer have that option open to her because of the integrity of a TV show made her angry.

Lea could tell that the blonde was more than a little upset with the turn of events and reached over, placing an encouraging and comforting hand on her knee.

“It’ll be fine. He’ll cool off when it dies down a bit. Maybe we should just try to stop fueling these rumours though.” She smiled into the hazel eyes that were fixed on hers.

“And how do we do that?” Dianna didn’t sound at all convinced. She knew that people had a tendency to latch onto an idea and once they had it in their head it was impossible to get rid of. She was more than aware of the fact that the rumours of Lea and Cory’s possible relationship were still persisting and despite trying everything to prove contrary, everyone still seemed to consider Naya as a crazy scorned woman who had keyed Mark’s car.

Neither of those rumours had any base in fact and ‘evidence’ to prove them had dried up and yet they were still widely regarded as true.

“Well we could start by trying to avoid doing all the things that people believed was evidence.” Lea offered. Dianna raised her eyebrows questioningly and the brunette knew she wanted examples. She fumbled with her phone, intending to bring up the forum she had found the night before that had listed all the instances of them looking like they were more than friends. “OK, well hand holding is a pretty obvious one. I’d say another one is you probably need to stop staring at me like…….” She paused as she pointed the screen of her phone at the blonde. “this.”

Dianna studied the screen of Lea’s phone; it showed a screen capture of an interview they’d just done at the Golden Globes and in it the blonde clearly couldn’t keep her eyes off the smaller girl. As she looked closer she realised that she had been caught staring at Lea’s cleavage.

“Oh. Right.” She stuttered, not quite believing how obvious she had been to the world about her feelings for the brunette whilst managing to remain completely oblivious to it herself.

Lea watched the flush spread across Dianna’s face and laughed, the look of sheer embarrassment only serving to make her laugh harder.

The blonde huffed and smacked the smaller girl lightly on the arm. “It’s not funny. I look like I’m about to just jump you then and there.”

“Well I did look exceptionally hot that night so really I don’t blame you.”

“You’re not helping.” The blonde pouted. Lea was going to respond but was cut off.

“Alright guys. We’re gonna rehearse this now so Cory, Lea and Kevin if you guys wanna get into place and we’ll go from the top?” The brunette moved away from Dianna, instantly switching back into professional mode.

The blonde realised as they began rehearsing and she watched Lea belt out a tune that she was really going to struggle to stay in character as Quinn and act as though she hated the smaller girl.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Production had been delayed on the scene they were currently shooting because one of the lights had gone out and no one could find a replacement. A runner had been sent off to another set to find something that would work but in the meantime they had nothing to do. 

Lea was standing with Brad and Ryan to one side as they discussed what they wanted from the scene. They wanted Rachel to be trying to make Finn realise what he was missing by singing a sexy number with the help of Brittany and Santana but refusing to acknowledge his presence whilst she directed the song towards all the other boys in the Glee club. Lea had had several ideas about exactly what to do, a lot of which had been shot down by Ryan who wanted to keep the Parents Television Council happy. 

Dianna watched with a smirk on her face as Lea demonstrated some moves for the two men but she was distracted by her phone buzzing beside her on the chair. She looked down, reading the name on the caller ID and her good mood instantly deflated; the screen read Alex. 

She picked up the phone, checking to make sure Lea was distracted before she pressed ACCEPT on her phone screen.

"Hello?" She kept her voice low, not wanting to draw any attention to the conversation she was having. 

"Hey. What are you up to?" 

"Filming. Well....not filming. Lighting are resetting so I'm just sitting around." 

"How long are you breaking for? Can I come to set to see you?" 

"Um......I don't think I'll have time right now but you could come a bit later. Say 3?" 

"Sounds good. I'll see you later then." 

"OK, bye."

"Bye". She heard the line click as he ended the call and sighed as she stared at her phone before quickly glancing up to check Lea wasn't watching her. As if the brunette could feel Dianna's eyes on her she looked up, meeting her gaze and smiling. Dianna forced a smile back hoping she could manage to keep Alex and Lea separate this afternoon. 


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Hate having to bring AP into the story but he's just too convenient really. 

Little Steps 5/?

Title: Little Steps
Rating: PG
Pairings: Lea Michele/Dianna Agron
Summary: Lea and Dianna struggle to come to terms with the implications of the rumours surrounding their friendship.
Disclaimer: A complete work of fiction.

A/N - Thanks so much for all your lovely comments. I decided to update again today, I had the chapter written already so I figured.....why not?

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“Can we talk?” She asked tentatively, lowering herself into a sitting position next to the brunette.

“How did you find me?” Lea asked, ignoring Dianna’s question.

“You like the peacefulness of the beach but you have no idea how to get to the small ones that we go to sometimes, only the big ones. Venice was pretty much a sure thing.” She explained. “I also knew you wouldn’t want to drive too far.” The brunette acknowledged her answer by nodding her head but they then fell into a silence.

The air was thick with tension but Dianna knew that Lea wouldn’t be the one to break it. “I’m sorry about earlier. You caught me off guard.” She tried to approach this in a calm way, having no idea about how she was going to admit to her own feelings.

“Whatever.” Lea replied, her voice was angry but the blonde could tell she was holding back so she didn’t upset her. She was about to open her mouth to explain herself when the brunette spoke again. “You know, it’s not like I showed up with a string quartet, a confession of undying love and a proposal of marriage. I don’t even know how I feel but you didn’t need to just stand there hoping I’d disappear so you wouldn’t have to be so damn uncomfortable.” Dianna cringed at the words and instantly reached over to grab the brunettes hand.

“I didn’t…… I wasn’t….” She tried and failed to get the rights words out and her hesitation caused Lea to sigh with frustration, get up and walk away.

The blonde was quick to follow her. “Lea! Lea stop! Please just hear me out.” Her pleas were ignored and she had to jog to keep up with the brunette who was practically running across the sand towards her car.

Dianna reached out and grabbed her wrist, twisting her round to face her. “You can’t drive, not after the amount of vodka you’ve had. Let me drive you home.”

“I’d rather get a cab.” The brunette growled in response. The blonde sighed and Lea’s eyes drifted up to meet hazel orbs, they were wide and glistening and staring into hers with an emotion that the brunette couldn’t place.

“Please Lea.” The words came out barely louder than a whisper. The brunette felt her resolve crumbling; she wanted to be pissed off with her friend for the way the day had gone but part of what made their friendship great was that neither of them could ever really get annoyed at the other, or stay mad at them for very long. “Please.”

“Alright.” The brunette couldn’t help but feel a smile tug at her lips as she watched Dianna’s face erupt into a broad grin as she directed the smaller girl towards her car, opening the door and ushering her in.

As she waited for the blonde to move round the car and get in she thought to herself that at least this way her friend would have to explain herself or experience an extremely uncomfortable 30 minute car ride home.

“Will my car be OK there?” The brunette asked nervously as Dianna slid into the seat next to her. The blonde glanced past Lea at the car parked in the empty lot next to the beach and shrugged.

“I don’t see why not.” Was her reply as she started the car up and backed out of the lot.

“That’s reassuring.” The brunette grumbled as she watched her car disappear into the distance.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll drive you back here first thing tomorrow to pick it up.” She shot a smile across at her friend, hoping that the tension was easing with the small talk. She wasn’t so lucky; the brunette avoided her gaze and stared out of the window at the passing buildings instead, keeping her mouth firmly shut.

“I really am sorry about earlier….” She started to say.

“Can we please not talk about it?” Lea cut her off. She desperately wanted to talk about it but she wasn’t going to make it that easy for the blonde.

Dianna looked over at the brunette again, she had bought her knees up to her chest and was leaning against the door of the car, still pointedly avoiding making eye contact with her. She looked as if she was trying to get as far away from the blonde as possible and Dianna began to wonder how on earth they had managed to get into this situation in the first place. She decided to ignore Lea’s attempts to avoid the conversation; she needed to say her piece.

“No. We’re going to talk about it.” The brunette huffed and attempted to get even more distance between them. Dianna pulled up to an intersection, if she went left she’d go to Lea’s, if she went straight on it would be to hers; she decided to go straight, she wasn’t going to let the smaller girl go until she’d said what she needed to say.

“You are my best friend Lea, I’ve never had a friend like you and I can’t imagine not having you in my life. When I read those rumours I panicked but then I began to think….I thought that if people could see something they thought was so obvious then maybe it was there and I just didn’t notice. You know when you stand right up against a picture and you only see the section right there, you only see that small part….not the rest….I thought maybe that was what was happening, I wasn’t seeing the whole picture. I stepped back…..and I got scared because of what I saw. I assumed that it was all on me, that you wouldn’t be thinking anything close to what I was thinking and I didn’t know what to do with that so I just avoided you. When you showed up earlier, I was…….I wasn’t upset or angry at you for what you said. I was surprised, overwhelmed, amazed and then annoyed at myself that I’d spent a whole day worrying and avoiding you without talking to you first. I’d spent a day thinking I was an idiot for changing the dynamic of our friendship without really thinking that maybe we both did, or…..I don’t know. And then I got really mad at myself because I stood there like a fool and let you walk out.”

She finished talking and chanced a quick glance over at Lea who had straightened herself up a bit and moved her position so that she was facing Dianna slightly.

They were silent for a moment, the brunettes eyes focused ahead but occasionally stealing quick glances over at her friend.


“You’re going the wrong way.” She said quietly, looking about at her surroundings and realising that she was not en route to her house anymore.

“What?” The blonde asked, thinking the smaller girl was responding to everything she’d just said.

“This isn’t the way to my house.” Dianna eyes snapped to meet hers and she remembered that she had decided not to drive Lea home until they had resolved their issues.

“Yeah. We’re going to mine. I didn’t want to take you home until we’d talked about this.” They fell into a silence again but there was a definite change, the tension was gone and it was more a comfortable silence.

The blonde girl took the opportunity to test the waters, reaching over and taking the smaller girls hand in her own. Their eyes met and they smiled, knowing that they were on the way to mending their friendship.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Do you want a coffee or tea or anything? Water maybe?” Dianna asked nervously as she bustled around her kitchen trying to find something to offer Lea who was at that moment curled up on her sofa groaning at the effects the vodka had had on her.

“Water, coffee, food. In that order.” She grumbled from her lying position. Her head was throbbing and her stomach was doing somersaults and she began to realise that in that day she’d only managed to eat a salad so the vodka had affected her a lot.

“On it.” The blonde called back to her, grabbing a glass and filling it with ice cold water from her fridge.

Her phone began to vibrate in her pocket and she was about to ignore the call before she saw that it was Chris; she knew she had to answer to let him Lea was safe.

“Hey Chris” She answered, trying to keep her voice low so Lea couldn’t hear her.

“No…she’s fine. Yeah she’s on my couch………… Just water………..It’s sorted…….OK…….I’ll see you tomorrow……..OK, bye.” She hung up and pushed the phone back into her pocket as she walked back into the lounge.

“Here.” She said gently, crouching beside Lea who was in the foetal position, her brow furrowed in discomfort. The brunette adjusted her position and took the glass, gulping it down before Dianna could remind her to sip it slowly.


“Eurgh….who’s clever idea was it to bring me vodka?” She groaned as she placed the glass on the floor and sunk her head into the pillows on the couch.

“I tried to warn him but it was too late. At least you didn’t end up standing on top of a car and shouting songs at passers by this time.”

“I was singing!” The brunette protested, pouting at the taller girl but smiling at the memory of one of their tequila fuelled nights.

“OK just make sure you don’t ‘sing’ like that when you next have to record for the show.” Dianna laughed as she earned a firm slap on the arm from the smaller girl.

“You think you’re funny but you’re not.” The brunette said firmly, before moving her eyes away from the hazel orbs in front of her.

“You’re adorable when you’re pretending to be annoyed.” She pushed a couple of stray strands of hair behind Lea’s ear and smiled at her when the brunettes eyes met hers, questioning her action.

They continued to stare at each other for a while, just as they had done the night before but this was different and they both knew it. Almost as if they read each others minds they both leaned in, their lips meeting tentatively for the first time. The kiss was short and chaste and when they pulled apart they were enveloped by a comfortable silence that was filled with possibility.

Neither girl really knew what their true feelings were towards one another but they both knew that it was something they wanted to find out. They didn’t reconnect immediately, instead Dianna moved from her kneeling position to sit beside the brunette, taking her hand and swallowing hard.

“Is this something we’re going to try?” She asked, stealing nervous glances at Lea like a teenager with a crush.

“Well the way I see it is that everyone already assumes we’re doing it so we might as well.” She shrugged, grinning at the look of disbelief on Dianna’s face.

“You really know the way to a girl’s heart don’t you?” The blonde replied, her voice thick with sarcasm. Lea was possibly the only person she knew who could immediately diminish the seriousness of a conversation and get away with it.

“What can I say? It’s a gift.” They both laughed before leaning towards each other again, this time they both felt more comfortable with their actions and Dianna raised a hand to cup the brunettes face whilst Lea’s hand travelled quickly to the small of her back, pulling her closer.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dianna felt her phone vibrate from its hiding place under her pillow and she pulled it out groggily, the light from the screen causing her to squeeze her eyes shut again before slowly opening them to allow her eyes to adjust to the brightness.

She looked at the clock on the phone’s menu, it was 3:34. She’d left Lea’s at midnight after having spent four hours doing considerably less talking than she had planned. They had, however, come to the conclusion that they were both interested in seeing what the next step in their relationship was. Clicking into her message inbox she read the recently arrived message.

Are you asleep? L x

Dianna smiled to herself, Lea knew perfectly well she would have been asleep because the blonde can fall asleep anywhere, at anytime, but she also knew that she was an incredibly light sleeper and so the vibration of her phone was guaranteed to wake her up.

I was. Now I’m awake. Was there a reason for interrupting my sleep? ~ D

The reply was instant and Dianna could picture the brunette cocooned in her sheets on her bed, typing furiously.

I couldn’t sleep. I had a dream I was attacked by giant sea horses and now I’m actually a little scared to go back to sleep. L x

Dianna found herself laughing loudly before covering her mouth to silence herself. For some reason, even though she lived in a detached house and no one could hear her, being loud in the middle of the night still felt rude.

You’re an idiot. No more vodka before bed.  ~ D

I’m excited to see you tomorrow. L x

She couldn’t help the smile that erupted on her face as she read the words but she decided to play it cool with her reply.

You see me every day, why is tomorrow so special? ~ D

She could almost picture the vaguely annoyed smile that would be emerging on the brunettes face as she read the reply.

Because I can kiss you whenever I want. L x

I can see why that would definitely be a perk for you. ;) ~ D

There was no reply for a while but Dianna knew that Lea wasn’t genuinely annoyed, she was just trying to prove a point and at 3:40 in the morning the blonde was more than willing to admit defeat.

OK. I was kidding. I’m excited to see you too. But I will be less excited and more grumpy if I don’t get any sleep. ~D

You’re no fun. Remember you have to take me to pick up my car tomorrow. L x

Dianna groaned at the realization that she would now be getting less sleep than usual as she would have to be up at least an hour earlier to drive over to Lea’s and then drive to Venice to pick up her car.

I’ll be at yours at 6:30. Go to sleep. Sweet dreams, try not to think about sea horses. Xxx


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Hope you enjoyed it!